22.8.10

THE UGLY

THE UGLY:

In early January we had a sit down with S.  Things were starting to feel a little out of hand. Her boyfriend had returned from fishing (empty handed) and was now left with the kids all day while S. lounged around in the studio watching daytime television and "fasting". She slept there, alone, all the time, even on Christmas Eve and when I went up Christmas day to see why she was not with her kids and boyfriend she just said she needed a break from them. OK?  Odd time to choose one. It was beginning to feel like we were just giving S. a place to escape to while she pretended to be listing and selling vintage.  The vibe felt all wrong. I was finally regaining my strength and was ready to address her presence. Somehow she manipulated my husband and I into allowing her to stay on for another month on a trial basis "The whole point of me being up there was to use it as a work space away from home so I could focus and sell to support my family. I also wanted to teach you Christina how to start your own store on Ebay and how to photograph and list, so how about we just give it one more month, I will get my things cleaned up up there and we can start working together like we had planned. I mean you were supposed to be working with me you know, and you have totally been avoiding going up there so its not my fault we have not kept our deal." True.  We all need second chances right. Fine. One More Month.

I tired to go up there and work. I brought all my vintage up to hang next to hers (though I was worried they would start to smell like that smell that was up there) I spent an afternoon sitting next to her by her laptop and watching her resize her photos and load them into ebay. She took photos of a few of my things. But that night I knew it would never work. I laid in bed without sleep that whole next night KNOWING that she needed to go. My instincts, everything I could sense with my whole mind and body said it. I even heard a voice in my head. SHE HAS TO GO. I started to feel sick again.

The first weekend in February, my husband and I went away for the weekend. Just AWAY. It was wonderful. When we got back were relieved to see her car was not there. When we walked through the breeze-way though, the smell was worse than ever "Christina! Will you please go up there and look around and make sure she is not DEAD up there or that she hasn't stashed, like a dead body up there or something! Jeeze!" We joked about things like this, half joked because at this point it seemed highly unlikely, but just maybe not impossible. Perfect grounds for sick jokes. I walked up the stairs and opened the door. A mess as usual, but I needed to finally see it. look at the mess and see what it had become. the bathroom door was closed and the vent fan was on. Odd. I opened the door and something kept me from opening it all the way. something solid. I pushed harder and peeked my head in. It was a bin full of shoes.  Knee deep piles of clothes surrounded it. the toilet lid was down. Do not ask me why I HAD to look under. I pushed my way in, kicked my way through and clumsily, in slow motion approached the toilet. I can still see my hand reaching for the lid, that last brief flash of ignorance. The wall of smell hit me first and was so disorienting I couldn't understand what I was seeing. Is this toilet filled to the lid with shit? BLACK SHIT. It kissed the lid like a new container of lip gloss does the first time you open it. but this was shit.

Tears from the fumes burned my eyes and I dry heaved. I couldn't add to this mess. I ran horrified down to the house and yelled "THETOILETISFILLEDWITHSHIT!" "What!!??" "the TOILET. is FILLED. with SHIT." He grabbed a snake. (you know like a metal toilet unclogging snake.) and returned after several minutes. "I may have made it worse. When S. gets back tell her she has to leave immediately and get all of her things out so we can call a plumber." OK. I absolutely will. that was Sunday.

MONDAY: I get home from work and she is up there. I walk in and she is doing dishes (the piles of rotting food and dishes seemed secondary to the shit so I didn't mention it earlier) "Hi!" she smiled at me. "UUUh S. We found the toilet." "oh I know! I tried to work on it more this morning when I got here. I think your pipes are frozen!" she was chipper. I opened the bathroom door and just as fast as her dish washing water was flowing down the drain, chunks of black shit water were bubbling up out into the bathtub. "S!! Shut off the water!!" "oh my." "Listen S.  You have to get out of here. you have to go. We need to call a plumber and get this fixed and we need you out of here right away for us to do that." "Oh, why do you need me out to call a plumber?" "because you have your shit and vintage everywhere. It may be a pretty messy job and we don't want your things to get ruined. Besides, its just time for you to leave. this is insane."  "Well, the toilet is NOT my fault! I don't even use toilet paper! I don't know why you are punishing me for the fact that your pipes froze. I told you about that months ago. Listen, I will move all of my things out  of the bathroom so the plumber can get in there. ok?" I was shaking. I didn't handle confrontation well. I felt manipulated, but I didn't know how to be strong. I went downstairs and told my husband what she said. Outraged. Before I could go back up she got in her car and left. we called the plumber.

TUESDAY: The plumber arrived early. He BROKE his snake trying to fix the problem.  had to remove the toilet. shit water went everywhere. he was even bewildered and he's seen some shit. Eventually he pulled out a baby sized wad of paper towels: the evidence, an empty paper towel roll was still sitting on the empty toilet paper roll holder.  "I never use toilet paper." well I guess that wasn't a lie. He had to go under the sink as well.  He pulled out a babies diaper completely smudged and covered with menstrual blood. Apparently she didn't use tampons or pads either. I was disgusted. the bill was astronomical. She arrived after everything was cleaned back up. I told her the findings. She was defensive. I told her SHE HAD TO LEAVE. "well, I will. I just can't for another two weeks because my grandma just died this morning and I have to fly to Florida for the funeral on Friday. My mom already bought my ticket. I will move everything out as soon as I get back. I don't know when that will be though since she only bought me a one way ticket." She started to tear up.  awe. her grandma died.  I had just lost my grandfather the previous November (yes. it was a bleak November) and she was able to squeeze just a few drops of sympathy from me. "besides, the urgency is over now, the toiled it fixed. I promise I will move out when I get back. In fact, I will start packing now and get it all bagged so that when I get back we can just move it to a storage unit." I felt defeated and weak. I went back to the house and told my husband. "NO FUCKING WAY! Tell her we will hire your brother and his friend to help her and we will get her out before she leaves on Friday. they will come over Thursday right after school and we will just work till it is done. I feel bad she lost her grandma and all but this way she will not have that looming over her while she is away, and honestly who knows, she could leave all of this stuff forever and never come back." By the time I went up to tell her all of this she was gone again.

WEDNESDAY: I stay home from work to watch for her car to pull in. Finally it does and I see her run upstairs. I follow. She is frantically grabbing things, her computer, a pile of vintage, random things. I tell her the plan. "Well that is going to just be impossible since My boyfriend's DAD died in the hospital this morning!  Everyone is freaking out! It's total chaos! I have to get back since I left him with the kids. He is a total wreck! I'll be back tonight and we can talk about all this but right now, I have much bigger problems to worry about than getting my shit out of your house!" She left. This must be the worst week of her life right? Later that night My husband and I, punch drunk, sickly joked about how maybe she was lying and that neither grandma nor dad were dead. But who would lie about something like that??  That would be really sick. We decided to let her take her time. Move out when she got back and after all the funerals.

THURSDAY: She was up there.  Alone. Music was playing. My car was getting new tires so she thought I was not home. I creeped up. caught her off guard. She was singing. "Oh! Hi! (big smile) you surprised me!" I was cool, calm, I told her that she had till the end of February to get her things out. her defenses dropped. I asked how her boyfriend's family was doing. "oh, they are all crazy. After I left here I went over to the hospital to see how his dad was doing and to bring him some carrot juice I juiced for him but they wouldn't let me give it to him! I know that if they just let me try to give him good nutrients, we would have a chance at saving him. They are all just so closed minded to natural healing." "S. you did that after you left here yesterday?" "Ya, thats why I couldn't come back last night." "S. You told me he was dead." silence. heart racing. breathing hard. silence. "oh, well, I thought he was dead. but then when I got there he was still alive." "so you brought some juice for a dead person?" "oh, well, that was actually for me and I was just going to try to give it to him since he was still alive." Ah.  Interesting. I left her with a happy little, "all right, well I'll see you later." I called Evan immediately and told him that the dad was not really dead. "Call your brother, tell him and his friend to come over after school. You, go up there now and just get your stuff out of there. make sure anything that is yours is out. at 1:00 your brother and his friend will bag her stuff and put it on the lawn of her house if they have to. SHE WILL BE OUT TODAY."

Oh gosh. this is getting really really long.  I will tell you the final conclusion tomorrow. Its the part where I finally grow my balls: THE REALLY UGLY.

Dress: gift
Belt, hat, necklace: thrifted
Shoes: gift from husband

36 comments:

Rachel said...

O. M. F. G.

Natasha said...

Your dress is beautiful!

What an insane story...the suspence is killing me...I'm thinking you could write a novel on this...it would be a best seller! I'm glad that you were able to move on from this though...

Swalvs said...

Oh well, seriously, unbelievable... Can't wait for the end... You look amazing by the way. I hope you had a wonderful night with Paige!

Becca said...

I've been avidly reading this story, but I'm withholding my judgment until the very end, hence my hesitance to comment until now. In the interim, I just wanted to tell you that I love the return of the sheath dress knot! You look so chic! Also, taking a cue from you, I tried to do my outfit pictures at sunset the other day. I always think that the warm toned light looks so nice on your skin, however I either timed it poorly or it doesn't work the same for me. When I imported my pics and made even the slightest adjustments, I just ended up looking like an oompa loompa. Epic Fail!

Haiku Ambulance said...

AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! That dress is breathtaking!!!

Seriously. The hat + shoes + dress = absolute perfection.

HOWEVER-

this is so fucking insane, I cannot stand it! And there's MORE!!

Holy cow- this is killing me. I have to know the end.

I bet if I were a Harry Potter/Twilight/Whatever fan, that I could confidently say that the suspense between these stories is worse than waiting for the final book/movie/whatever.

We should get this published, and then you could give the "real life tour" and make billions. It would top the Anne Frank house.

It would be bigger than Vegas.

Oh, my heart- it races.

I. must. know. the. conclusion.

And by the way- you have great feet. Just saying.

Have fun at the Lake with Paige! Not that I'm insanely jealous or anything.....

:)

.Haiku

Caroline said...

Ahhh this is insane! I would so read this if you made it into a book, it sounds like it would make a great one. So crazy that it's actually true though. O:

Ce qui m'inspire said...

Hot damn, this story is intense. You have me totally hooked. Reading this story is like watching a train wreck, you don't wanna know what happens, but you just can't look away.

Ce qui m'inspire

Farrielle Design and Fashionista said...

First thing first, your dress is gorgeous, I love the belt the shoes everything. The story is like a movie to me, crazy crazy cray Oh my, how can somebody live like that with the toilet so dirty digusting . I can't wait to read the rest.

Meisha Marie said...

Oh my goodness this is crazy insane! If I hadn't been following your blog for so long, I might think you were making some of this up.

How can some people be so crazy?!

You should definitely write a book. I would buy it!

Diana Hunter said...

I feel my own anger rising because I know people like "S" - fortunatly none of them have ever moved in.

I love 'hippies' (as my mom still used to call these friends) but too many times I have realized that "I don't support agri-bussiness" means 'I'll just eat your food instead'.

Friends who "Protest against the oil industry" have no problem asking me for rides and that their motto was often "Mi casa et su...oh wait - they don't have a casa!"

It is easy for people like "S" and my former friends to be righteous as long as some one else is willing to participate in their perceived evils of the world and so never feel that they bear any responcibility!

My heart goes out to your situation and I am glad I saw the hipocrasy and realized it was easy for them to be generous with my good will.

Melissa said...

I can't believe we have to wait until tomorrow for the rest of the story! I'm on pins and needles over here.

As a Harry Potter and Twilight fan (taking a cue from Haiku - hey, that rhymed!), I can confidently say that the suspense between stories is JUST as intense if not more because this is REAL.

My heart is racing and I'm angry on your behalf. As someone who HATES confrontation (I'd so much rather email someone than tell them something bad in person), I feel your severe discomfort in the situation. And I'm so angry for you!

But I have to know how this ends!

Jodi K said...

I feel a little bit like throwing up. I love how you described the horrid mess of the toilet. I can not wait to hear the end!

christa @ enSTYLEpedia said...

this is so crazy!! i am so sorry this happened to you and your sweet family! i totally believe in what goes around comes around...who knows what kind of mess S. is in now?! i was seriously getting sick reading this...
p.s. this has been really entertaining (i mean that in the best possible way) i feel like i'm looking forward to a soap opera everyday or something!

dear kate said...

i feel awful about her kids! the poor things!
crazy!
anyway - you look fantastic! one of my favorite looks by you!
katie

Melrose said...

oh my god. toilet paper? diapers? dead grandmothers and father-in-laws?! bitch be crazy.
i'm honestly surprised you can trust in anyone after what she put you through!

Tugba said...

The dress is gorgeous :) and the knot at the end is such a good idea :) Looks very different!

http://tugbaseckin.blogspot.com/

http://tugbaseckin.blogspot.com/

those tricks said...

incredible dress.
looks great with your coloring and Nevada.
-s

Sidewalk Chalk said...

I cannot believe all this happened to you. I am so angry this happened to you and your family. Needless to say, I cannot wait to hear the conclusion.

You look beautiful, btw. I love the little knot in your dress.

merciblahblah said...

A) Dress with knot? Fantastic.
2) Shoes? Sublime. Gimme.
and
C) Poop filled toilet + bloody diaper? Abhorrent. I cannot believe this happened to you. I cannot believe you're making us wait til tomorrow to hear the end.

DOH!

Merci,
Shannan

RETRO REVA said...

I so feel for you !!!!
I worked in a Tx. Center (for women and children with addiction ) back in the 90's. I gotta say, this sounds exactly like either an addiction problem or a mental health problem.
The lying and getting so up, then down is a typical "using" thing. The inability to accept her role in this insanity is another clue. Honestly, I would take a "peek" into her private areas for clues.
Please, I hope, don't allow her to make you feel guilty. Addicts selfishly pick caring targets to "use". On the other hand, if she is suffering from a mental disability, you cannot fix her. She may need professional help either way.
I have seen and heard a lot of similar situations. The only way for her to get better ma be to "hit bottom", which in this case means sitting her stuff on the lawn and changing the locks.
So sorry to hear such a terrific person being jerked around and pulled into her insanity.
Being a "hippie" doesn't mean being a User. Grrr.....

tracy said...

So these are the 2 dead people part (from your past post) came in. Pheww...in a way, I'm deeply relieved that it's only a lie. I was so concerned that you actually found dead bodies up on your garage (not saying that toilet filled with poo, rotten food, crazy ass mess wasn't bad enough)...

I've met my S. as well 5 years ago, it's almost astonishing that I also had to deal with a toilet filled with poo too (the water was bubbling up and sure enough the bedroom and bathroom was filled with poo water!) at that time. Fortunately, it was a rental, and the property management ended up taking care of it (b/c in the rental agreement that they gotta, and it didn't end up costing anything-thankfully).
I can totally remember the disgust I felt and can only imagine how you and your husband felt--and the astronomical bill from the plumber, oy!
Oh, in my experience, my S. was involved with drugs though (although I was super blind to not know at all..I can't believe it until this day), and yes, the lies, the blatant lies...ugh. Just like you, I was never good with confrontation. Luckily it's all in the past.
I'm thankful for you too that it's a past episode in your life where you have forgiven, you've moved on and you've learned from it..:)

Btw, I love the dress styled like that. V. chic that way. Good color on you too.

amanda said...

i'm not sure whether i should laugh hysterically (in a bit of an unhinged sort of way) or if i should cry. this is just too much. can't wait to hear the rest!!!!!!!! i mean for real, you can't make this shit up. this is better than a mystery novel. and you look gorgeous in that dress which is just a fantastic juxtaposition to the crazy ass story you've got going on. love the colors on you.

Anonymous said...

Are you sure telling everyone about someone else's dirty laundry (literally) online is smart?

I feel for you girl, but I'd be careful about what I write. You never know who could be reading and how they'll react.

Sally said...

I can't even wrap my mind around the bloody diaper part, I mean honestly?! Such a horrible situation, glad you made it through!

Sally
http://ursaminor-sally.blogspot.com/

Terri said...

I may have to try the knotting the hem bit.

I'm hanging on every word of your story.

Haven said...

What the WHAT?!

It just keeps getting better. Or is it worse?

The Village Idiot said...

ahhhhh the suspense is killing me!
great dress

myedit said...

I feel all wrapped up in this soap opera... one more installment? You are leaving me hanging.

vero s. said...

Hi from Argentina. I really love your blog, and now, i enjoy your blog-novel. Even if it is insane :-S
I cant wait for the end...

little vel said...

WTF????? That girl is sick & INSANE!!

Archives said...

omg....insanity!!!

hanging on for pt 4...?!?!?

Anonymous said...

Holy shit. I'm dry heaving and sitting here in suspense. I can't imagine having to endure this woman's 'company'.
And 'anon' does it matter what she writes? It's her blog. No real names are used and even if someone knows who she's speaking about then they should encourage this 'S' person to send money and apologies for the catastrohpe she left behind! If I were worried about what someone would write about me I wouldn't leave a toilet full of black poo in someone's house and tell them it was THEIR fault!
Sounds like you guys went through so much. Glad the beast is long gone now and at least left a few nice vintage items behind.
-meg

Venn said...

i loovee the dress, it is really pretty on u ,, n the shoes is just greatt!!

xxoxo

Stephanie said...

Our old guest bathroom toilet "had personality" and frequently required 2 flushes. One time a guest left a mean #2 and didn't check. Needless to say it sat for 3 days...I mean it's the guest bath - only guests use it!

I was so disgusted! I can ONLY IMAGINE how horrid you must have felt walking into that...in your own home. I think I would burn that studio down after that.

Cris said...

My GOD, that dress is beautiful. If I could raid your closet, I would never come out! ha.

And I have to go back and read what' s going on. I haven't been here in a while so I feel out of the loop. Whatever the case I'll sprinkle some good karma your way. :)

-Cris
http://www.bisouonline.com

my name is lauren. said...

i just read this whole sordid story. craziest ex-gf EVER. oh...and P.S. love how you tied your dress on the side... such a simple little detail that makes a huge statement.

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