come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly away. . .

I have an announcement to make. Well, actually, I guess I would like to whisper something in your ear because about a quarter of my heart doesn't really believe what I am about to tell you and is positive it will be screaming "I told You SO!" in a short while making me feel like a total cereal flake and sikester, yet again. In fact, the last time I proclaimed something and failed to deliver on my claim, I told myself it would be wise to never commit verbally or in written word again, but to just make a mental note to myself, and accomplish said commitment on my own, providing the wiggle room to back out if my heart so chooses to, thus avoid public humiliation and judgment. But you know the biggest judge is myself anyway since, no offense to anyone, the judgment of a stranger (not that you all are strangers, in fact I would absolutely, unequivocally call some of you my dear friends, though if you are truly my friend, you accept these slight eccentricities of mine and therefore do not judge me anyway, which is why I call you my friend in the first place) is really moot and I have far more critical views on myself than any one else could ever have anyway (which I assure you, I am TOTALLY working on!) I guess the reason I feel compelled to share this whisper with you here now is that most of you have really been on this blogging and vintage selling ride with me for a while now, and I feel like One or More of you could give me some ideas for how to accomplish my goal in the most painless way possible, while also providing you an opportunity to get something in return (if you even have an interest.)

I am quitting the Vintage Biz. I have put in my notice to myself and my last day is May 31, 2011. 

Yikes. I said it. Well, I have not hit publish YET so I still have some time to talk myself off the ledge here. But basically, yes. I am quitting. It is not for financial reasons. It is not because of any concrete reason exactly. It's just time for me to do something else and as long as I have this stuff stuffing my house, I can't move on properly. It feels weird though because one of the main reasons I have an attachment to selling (not that I have been doing much of it lately anyway) is that I like to have an answer to the question "What DO YOU DO?" "Oh, me? I am a vintage seller. I sell vintage clothing online." For some reason (one that makes me feel uncomfortable to admit) just saying I am a "stay at home mom and wife" doesn't seem enough. For some reason I feel the business of selling justifies my eccentric way of dressing, gives me something to do during the week while my son is at school, a purpose when I am at the shops rapidly wiping each hanger in split second time to reach the end of each rack while piling my cart high with treasure. I began the shop as a cover up and cope with my OVER thrifting habit and enable myself to continue my bingeing, but one coping mechanism just creates a different problem. I am not facing the issue.

It would be easy to argue that my shop in some way is a successful attempt at making my passion and hobby into a business, but there is the freaking rub. I am incapable of maintaining a passionate feeling once money is involved. In fact, money has never been a motivating factor for me, though I require more of it to continue, if I lack the passion for said activity (and truth be told, I would rather have my time than the money in that case.) And I am very very lucky to be able to be a stay at home mom. VERY LUCKY. I know this. I just feel like now that my son is in school, how can I justify "stay at home mom" when I am the only one at home. Then I am just a woman who stays home all day. . .  if not selling vintage, then doing what? Reading? Laundry? Dishes? Doing Yoga? Dancing around my house to loud music? One can only do these things for so long before they feel they are not living fully. There must be something more. and maybe selling vintage, a cure for an ailment that has passed, is not THE THING I am destined for. And maybe not styling other people either since while it was fun for a couple of months to try out, was not what I expected. Maybe there is NO THING but I will never find out as long as I am distracting myself and filling my time with things that have outlasted their usefulness to me. It's time for me to move on.

So, how does this relate to you? Well, the above photos are about 80% of my entire stock I have left. There are 4 trash bags of "lost cause" things that will be donated back to the thrift stores, and a few hold outs that tug too hard on my psyche to let go of in phase one (they are my personal stash items in case of panic later down the road, the cream of the crop things that will give me comfort and memories when this chapter of my life has ended.) All of these things are going. in some way shape or form. I am first trying to sell it at this party my mom and I have planned for this Thursday, then I am listing each piece online (with the help of Gabbi who I will do a whole post about soon). I guess I was wondering if there was some program that would allow me to just photograph like all of my belts, just as I have above, and you can just scroll over each with your cursor and the size and price will appear in the picture. I know I have seen it before. Is this an easy programming job or does it take a genius?  I just want to make this stuff available as cheaply and quickly as possible. Whatever is left. Or, do you know of any sellers that would maybe consign my stuff in their shops? Unfortunately I do have a wee bit of credit card debt I have to eliminate or else I would consider GIVING it away, but I just want to break even and maybe even walk away with a teensy bit of change in my pocket to help me in my next chapter. Anyone interested in purchasing the whole lot? I have a very clear $$ amount in my head. A very fair amount.

I am going to publish now. I am not even going to proof read this, its just going to fly.