Second Skin

Still Crazy, after all these years

2011-11-08T19:55:00.000-08:00

So a few weeks have past. I am practicing non judgment now so it's no big thing. Moving on.

I left off in a precarious sort of humbled state in my last post about weaving. The end of that story was going to be eloquently written and convey my personal lesson and all of that, but I am pretty much out of that mode right now. Long story short, I went back and read all of the boring introduction stuff that I had skipped in the weaving book and found this great statement that pretty much changed my whole outlook. I gave the book back to my teacher so I can't quote it, but I'll paraphrase.

When a Navajo girl weaves her first piece on the loom she dedicates herself to weaving just stripes. This gives her muscles memory, teaches her about her loom and helps her to develop her personal weaving style without having to worry about the more technical aspects. The Navajo people enjoy the process of weaving and look forward to all of the pieces they will eventually weave in their life. They can take the time to weave their first piece in just stripes.

When I read this I felt very comforted. I decided to strip the old loom I had found at the thrift store and re warp it. With the help of my teacher, I was ready to begin weaving some stripes. I figured that if I was going to DO this thing, a little patience and step by step progress would serve me well. Over the next couple weeks I weaved stripes and found the peace I experienced while weaving my first piece. I am still working on it now actually. I will photograph it when I am finished. I love it though. I love the process.

Image details can be found on my Tumblr

In other news, I am still reading like a maniac. I finished a few more books on esoteric topics, spirituality, stuff like that. As Serene said in a previous comment, I am really searching right now and have actually been finding the answers I have been looking for. Those answers have been less in the text though and more in my heart. Everything I am reading has been leading me to a deeper awareness inside of me. I was having a hard time trusting myself for a little while though. I admit, for a minute I thought I might be going crazy. I started a desperate attempt at seeking validation externally again in a more private way and got crickets at every request. It made me begin to doubt the very thing I rely on to guide me through this life! My internal compass, my truth detector, my bullshit meter, all of my instruments would have had to be re-calibrated but I wouldn't have the faintest idea of what code I would recalibrate them to? My personal code has served me so well my whole life. My invisible energetic team. . . whatever that feeling is when I know something is right and something is wrong. . . How could that be off? I was in a crisis for a minute or two. My doubt in myself actually made me SICK to the point that my HEAD EXPLODED. Literally. The pressure built up so much that I ruptured my ear drums. Blood and pus were dripping out, it was effing sick, let me tell you. A few doctors appointments, acupuncture and a therapy session later, it dawned on me that the reason I was getting NO external validation was because I am not supposed to get validation externally anymore. It was time to trust myself. FOR REALS. Silence from others was not proof that I was wrong about the way I see things. I am not crazy. As soon as I began to accept this I got better.

So that was my last three weeks. If you have been reading my blog for any length of time (and those of you that are actually still here obviously have or else you wouldn't waste your time on this shit. Thank you) you will realize that I have been on the verge of this for a while now. I got started blogging again because I thought I was ready, but I guess I just had this final hurdle to clear. Now that that's, I am pretty sure, over I can get back to it. I still feel like this blog is an important element in my life. Trust me, I weighed the pros and cons again during my little break and I just can't get around it. I am here. Again.

Incremental Progress

2011-10-18T11:10:00.000-07:00

The salvaged original work left unfinished on the loom.

About a year and a half ago I found an old loom at my local thrift store with an unfinished tapestry woven onto it. The warps (the strings that run vertically on the loom that provide a matrix on which to weave through) were made of wool but were very old and weak, yellowed and broken. The unfinished tapestry had thick, hand spun lengths of different colors of wool, twine, and wood layered upon each other to create a rich and rough piece of work. The spun wool had bits of vegetation and the hair of other animals interlocked in its fibers. The whole thing slumped against the wall among the wicker baskets, mismatched coffee mugs and tupperware that had been separated from their lids. The tools that accompanied the loom, carved from matching dark cherry wood, had additional lengths of wool wrapped around them. It was apparent to me that this weaver didn't feel like they were finished. They had more work to do here, but for a reason I will never know, they abandoned their weaving. I speculated there in the store while my heart raced as I carried my new find to the register. 'THIS IS INCREDIBLE,' my heart sang. $12. I paid $12 for this treasure that would bring about a change in my life that I could never have anticipated as I gleefully threw a hot $20 down.

This loom with it's unfinished work stood as a found piece of art work, decorating my house for the next year. People would visit and we would speculate on when and where it was woven, what happened to the weaver and what I intended to do with it. "Are you going to weave on this loom?" The inevitable question kept coming up. My silent answer was always something like, I would love to but would that disrespect the original weaver or ruin the beauty of the found piece? What if I am not good enough and I weave a piece of shit, then not only will I have dismantled something beautiful, I will have wasted and proven a secret desire I have to be a disaster. I carried some self doubt.

Last spring, while I was in the process of disintegrating my vintage business and the blog here and all the middle man tasks I had been busying myself with for the previous year, I had this very compelling drive to MAKE something. Stop finding things others have made and selling them for a profit, MAKE something of your own and realize that the profit you gain is the cathartic act of creation. The peace that comes from the process. In order to begin making, I had some doubts to overcome. The well of ideas was overflowing but the cap of insecurity kept me from beginning for fear that I would expose myself to myself as a failure. I felt like I needed guidance. I needed tutelage, a teacher that would walk with me in those first steps and show me the slow but sure way to proceed. By August I finally asked the universe for a teacher. While I believe that asking for help is a huge important first step I am also well aware that help comes to those that help themselves, so I grabbed a community college schedule of classes and browsed the subjects.

Ceramics? No. Painting? Hell no. What was I looking for? Come on come on, I knew it was there somewhere. Then, there in the community education section for the satellite campus in my town was a weaving class. The energy in my body about gave me a heart attack. THAT was what I was looking for! A Passionate Response! I wanted to feel my heart beat out of my chest and lose my breath with anticipation! The month waiting for the class to start was torture. At one point it was cancelled but the woman teaching it agreed to teach me in her home since she was happy to have at least one interested person. It was the first time she had offered her lessons through the college since she just felt like she needed to broaden her search for students. I was an eager and thankful pupil.

She started me on a simple frame loom, essentially a frame with small brass nails hammered along the top and bottom on which the warp was strung. Her lesson was basic. String the yarn onto a weaving needle and weave in and out, alternating as you add layer upon layer. Basic weaving. She said, "Experiment! Try different patterns, change colors!" By my third row I already felt it. The rhythm. The doing. The making. One row at a time. Incremental progress. Each layer builds upon the next and eventually a fabric is created. A flimsy string locked together with more flimsy strings within the boundaries of a defined matrix, created a square of strength. The pattern though was up to my imagination. I could create almost anything I wanted within the frame of my matrix. All I had to do was envision the goal and move forward with patience, focus, forgiveness, the willingness to unweave and make right any missed steps, and the drive to complete the process and see it to the end. Consistency in tension and pressure matter. Finding my own rhythm and staying in it matters. Breaking when I become fatigued matters. All of these lessons seemed to effortlessly download into my system. I would take deep breaths and hear the word YES. This is right. This is what I have been needing and looking for.

My first finished piece.

When I brought my first finished piece into class the next week, my teacher could hardly contain herself. "This Is amazing! Superb! I just can't believe it!" She asked if I had any previous experience weaving. No. She explained that the feathering I had created in my angles was very desirable and difficult to do and that she wanted me to come to her Navajo weaving class to show them how I did it. This made me feel UNCOMFORTABLE. For one thing, I felt immediately my ego filling up with hot air, a feeling I am very conscious of and actually DESPISE in myself. Additionally, I don't really know HOW I did it. I just did it. When I was figuring it all out I was in the zone. It just happened. I felt awkward taking credit for that, but then my ego stepped in, "Oh sure! It was easy! I would love to come to the Navaho class and show them how I did it!" chest puffed out jaw jutted, hands in loose fists on my hips.

At that point the pressure was on. I had to make another equally amazing piece. SCREW THAT! It had to be better than the one before it! More technical, incorporating complicated interlocking techniques and an even cooler pattern! I took a book home and skipped to the good parts because I didn't need the introduction, I was a freaking natural. Let's effing do this thing!

This time the weaving was long and tedious. It was frustrating and ugly to me. Nothing seemed to be going right. I kept making mistakes and resented going back to fix them. I had wanted to make it as symmetrical as the last one but miscounted the warps for my brown sections and inadvertently created a mess. As I got nearer to completion I just gave up on the pattern all together and filled the center with half hearted lines. I disdained the finished product.

My ego driven piece.

Before I even arrived at the Navajo class I was a humbled lump. The other attendees were all expecting this special girl to come waltzing in, their eyes filled with the promises my teacher had made about my brilliance. I muttered a weak and shy hello to each of them before pulling out my two pieces. As they looked at them I watched as they quickly grabbed the first piece and maybe without even realizing it, covered the second with it. One of them said specifically, disregarding #2 all together, "This is a beautiful sample." Ok. Thank you. My interaction was them was meek and controlled.

This is getting long. I will resume with the second half of this story later. Thank you for reading.

Read, Weave, Run, Write

2011-10-17T11:11:00.000-07:00

Aside from the day to day family household things, I spend all of my waking moments doing one of these four activities. It sounds rather boring actually if I put it that way. And if you take these things at face value it would be pretty boring. The great thing is, I believe that there is a spectrum for the way we can perceive life- at one end, you see everything for exactly what it appears to be, face value, and at the other end you understand that everything you can see with your eyes is merely a shadow of what the thing really is. A reflection. I have spent time sitting in a reality where there is nothing beyond the visible real. Its fine. There are nice things about that type of living. I am far more interested in sitting in the other end of the spectrum though. I love to imagine that what we see (and measure with all of our external sensors) is only half of our true reality. That visible reality is very well documented through science. What if every object, activity, and physical sense you have is mirrored by, in equal proportion, an unseen reality.

1) Read
It was important for me to give a summery of the seasons in my last post so that I could use them as a reference point for where I am right now. I spent the summer in the world of the physical real, but about a month ago, I full on stepped into to other side, just to see what I could see. I have been reading like crazy. Reading books that entertain alternative points of view. After I physically read the words, I read the meaning of them against my inner voice (We all have an inner voice right? Im not talking about monkey chatter in your brain but a clam, grounded, inner voice? I might have two actually, but I am pretty sure I am not schizophrenic) to see what I really think about what I just read. I talked to people about my findings and my new (new to me) ideas to read what they thought of it all (hmmm, mixed reviews). I am continuing to read more. Here are some books that have sent me reeling so far:

Indigo Adults, by Kabir Jaffe and Ritama Davidson: You know how I said I went to that Chakras class two Fridays ago? Well at the end of class I was talking to the teacher for a while and I told her some things. CRAZY things that I have not really ever talked about with any one outside of my safe circle. She did not seem surprised by my crazy shit. Instead she smiled at me and told me to look up Indigo people. She was very nonchalant about it. "Just look it up on the internet or get a book about being an indigo and see if anything makes sense to you. Call me when you are ready to know more," she said. If anything I have ever said has resonated with you, maybe check this one out. If you feel like you are supposed to be doing something more, or if you suspect that there is a much larger plan in play, or if you just feel strange and different and maybe a little bit off from the majority of people around you, investigate this for yourself.

The Secret History of the World, by Mark Booth: I am nearing the end of this one. If you found the above book interesting, this one is like a handbook for the imaginatively aroused. Blowing my effing mind.

The Secret Life of Plants, by Peter Tompkins and Christopher Bird: So my husband goes into Vitamin World to get some fish oil or something and and the guy behind the counter acts stunned and says "Whoa! I was just thinking about you! That was so random!" Then he launches into this whole conversation about how our energies move at a much higher and faster frequency than our bodies and that if we are sensitive enough we can have experiences where we can sense things blablablabla . . . and on and on and then he brings up this book and says that back in the 70's, this guy hooked lie detector machines up to plants and say that they responded to very specific phenomenon that lead the guy to do all these studies and find that plants communicate with each other and this that and the next thing . . . my husband was like, "ok dude. cool. can I buy this fish oil?" But he came home and told me about it since I am in to that kind of thing, and I bought it and read part of it and freaked out. This book was maybe the catalyst for my new abstract, looking glass state of mind.

Boy, this is already getting long. How about I talk about the weaving tomorrow. or later today. I need to get some food. Oh, and I responded to your comments in the comments section that you left them in. I will continue to do so , but please know that I am not like sitting here EXPECTING you to comment. If you want to chat that's great but I will not be upset if you just want to read and be entertained or bored or whatever you are doing here. I would LOVE to hear your thoughts but I hope you just do what feels compelling for you. And I just looked up the word compelling because I wanted to be sure my heart chose that word correctly and it did, but I want you to comment only if your heart feels compelled to do so, not out of some other perceived obligation. ok.

cross the bridge

2011-10-11T11:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterday when I was checking my blog settings and clearing my dash and other internet spaces I was reminded of a blog I started a couple of years ago called 5ifty2. I didn't include a link but the premise of it was that there are 52 weeks in a year and 52 playing cards in a deck, coincidentally, and that I had at least 52 people in my life that I needed to communicate with so by writing their names on the face of each card and drawing a card a week, I could eventually reconnect and or finalize or provide closure to a number of loose end relationships that were weighing on my conscience. The plan failed after about 3 weeks. Some chapters are best left closed. This whole concept and memory flashed through my head quicker than it took you to read the word "Yesterday" in this blog post but it seems that it was not an accident that I was reminded of this concept of 52.

Each morning that I run I always break to do walking lunges across a bridge on our property. I have only just begun to be able to complete the entire length without stopping. I have never counted my steps before but for some reason today I did. As my steps grew harder my counting grew louder and more pronounced to help remind me that I could do it one step at a time, until I reached the end at 52. 52! I smiled to myself. How coincidental! But my mind couldn't let it go. I went along running and thinking about this coincidence.

"52 lunges across the bridge, 52 weeks in the year, 52 playing cards, 4 suits in a deck, 4 seasons in a year, 4 symbols. If I was to lay a card on each week I would give each suit a season, laying the aces on each equinox and solstice. What suit would I give each season? Well, obviously spring would be hearts, summer clubs, fall spades, and winter diamonds. Whoa. Why do I say obviously?" . . . and the conversation continued in my head as ran:

Well lets start with winter and diamonds. What does winter represent to me? A time of the mind, introversion, a drawing in, snow flakes, crystals, a mind like a diamond, the third eye, the star on my christmas tree, cold, purity, first day of the year, one, singularity, thinking. . .

Winter leads to spring and hearts. Hearts in spring= New buds on trees, rejoicing, new life, cell division at conception, love birds, joining, waking up, transition, change, preparation . . .

Clubs in the summer = clubs are like feet or paws, hiking, activity, physical activity and matters of the body, behaving like animals, being outside, swimming, camping, laughing, fruits and veggies, more raw foods, gardening, resting of the mind, a more physical existence . . .

And finally spades in the fall = leaves fall like spades, harvest, call a spade a spade, reaping what was sown, grieving the end of summer's bounty and the death and drawing in of nature, spades are upside down hearts, swords, the opposite of spring, a time to take inventory, move inward, digging in, collect your bounty. . .

This free association thinking lead me to myself. My body. . . My body is like the earth. I have seas of water, soil growing new tissue, an atmosphere that renews and cleanses itself, my cells perform a form of photosynthesis, and I have seasons. Last spring, the time of the heart, I was sad. Lonely. I longed for more human connections. I felt the need and urges to ground myself after a long, intense winter of the mind. As I moved into summer I essentially shut my mind off and lived fully in my body. I ran and played and drank lots of beer and sang and laughed, behaved like an animal doing just whatever I felt like, grazing as I wished, storing up vitamin D in my skin, muscles on my bones, joy in my heart, and fat in my brain (as I didn't call on it to work much). As the fall approached I felt the shift. The dog days of summer were over. The time of the club and foot had ended. The leaves are now falling in spades and I am feeling a wealth of abundance from my harvest. I feel sharp. and ready to dig deeper.

I began replying to comments in the comment stream of my last post and will continue to communicate in the comments with you on an individual basis, though I have given myself very strict parameters related to my computer time in order to maintain a nice balance and to avoid burnout. Please know that I see you. Interaction and conversation are a huge part of what I am doing here so I absolutely welcome your insights.

All images can be traced back to their source through my tumbler.

Head Change

2011-10-10T11:53:00.000-07:00

What am I doing? No, seriously. My head is asking me "What do you think you are doing?" Well, head, I am going to begin writing, And I will write here in this space that I have written in so many times. This place that allows me freedom. I need to write here.

So, I went to this color theory / chakra opening class last Friday and sure as shit, my throat chakra is all closed up. All the running and lunges and squats I have been doing the past couple months have grounded me very successfully (not to mention the incredible boost they have given my bootie) and my first three chakras are W I D E open, however the trade off of running in exchange for yoga and meditation have left me feeling a little imbalanced. Time to straighten up. I have to write again. I have to communicate. Not just verbally. I have to communicate with you. A lot has happened in the past few months. Some things I can list in pretty concrete terms, but the intangible ones have had a much stronger impact on me and these are the things I have to ruminate on here occasionally so that I can make them feel more concrete.

Briefly, quitting the blog was hard for me. But I had to do it. I had to see it through till I didn't even think about it any more. I had to create distance so that I could see what precise elements were not working for me. Though this post may seem . . . however it may seem TO YOU, it may as well be a first post on a brand new blog. This IS actually a first post on a brand new blog. I just didn't change the title or the layout or get a new address or anything like that, so it might look like the old blog, carrying all its old history, memory and baggage, but in reality it has reinvented itself, just as I have reinvented myself. Granted, I do look a little different now. I changed my hair (it is short and red) and I may also change my header here, but really, from the outside, not much seems different. My content however has shifted. If this seems interesting to you, great. I look forward to reconnecting with you. In the mean time, hi. It feels good to be back typing again.

Christina

Vrrroooom. crash and burn.

2011-05-26T14:00:00.000-07:00

Hi! I have been out of town for about a week, and actually tomorrow is my son's last day of school for the summer, so I am not sure how much I will be online this summer really. I sold a few more collections over the past week, I think there are only like two or three left so I am going to ship those final items out tomorrow, along with anything else that might sell today (*wink* *wink* last chance, make an offer) then the etsy shop will be empty and potentially closed for a while, or until I am in desperate need of money in the sometime future (who knows what the future holds). I have a whole bunch of fun family plans this summer, playing at the lake, camping, hiking, biking, stuff like that. I also plan to establish stronger relationships with my local friends, do some DIY projects that have been sitting on the back burner for a while, and drink some beers on my hammock. Not that any of this is super important or anything, but I guess what I am basically saying is that I will be out for a while. I don't really even think I'll be back to this space in any real way again. I have LOVED blogging, for what it was, over the past year and a half or so and have learned and grown so much from it. I have met some really incredible people, seen some amazing things, and enjoyed some great opportunities. I have been fundamentally changed by this blogging experience. For the better. I have never felt more confident, at peace and accepting of myself than I do right now. I really think that the blogging community helped to grow that in me. Meeting people I feel a kinship with through words is a very powerful thing.

I was going to just end this right there, but you know what, I think I am just going to go all out and throw all of the shit I think about blogging out there. Why not right. It's the end and all. Of course, I'll throw in a little disclaimer since I only know Myself and my own experience and understand that it is likely wildly different from anyone else's and I would never want to pretend that I know someone else's story anyway, SO this is a summary of my blogging experience:

Ahem: When I started blogging I was a very insecure girl. I had just broken up with a girlfriend that basically told me I was a terrible person (who I disagreed with at the time but still felt like shit about) and didn't really have any other friends. I live in a small town and had a huge gate around my heart for various reasons and thought that a good way to fill my time and make money would be to blog, sell vintage and try to make friends on the internet. I was nervous about clothes. I liked strange things and felt like a weirdo when I wore what I liked in real life. When I posted pictures of myself on the internet at places like chictopia and Weardrobe, people seemed very supportive and made me feel less strange. eventually I got some followers on my blog. I could not believe that ANYONE was interested in my shit let alone people in New York or HOLY SHIT!! AUSTRALIA, CANADA, GREAT BRITAIN!! WHOA! I checked my analytics program daily and freaked and gasped at every new reader in every new country.

By January 2010 I was being offered free stuff from people and companies!! People were being so nice to me! I was commenting back on just about every comment I got, following back, favoriting back and blogging daily to keep up momentum (on the blog, Chictopia and Weardrobe). I was staying up till past midnight and up at 5:00 am reading blogs to keep up and return the niceness. I couldn't believe that so many people liked me. I had never been popular AT ALL. I was in fact covered with acne, mousy and a bit plumper and totally uncomfortable my whole life until about the middle of 2009 when I was finally treated for Hypothyroidism and magically thinned out, cleared up and came into my own. All of this attention was unbelievable and completely addictive. At 30 years old, a mother and a wife, living in a little western Nevada town, I was being called chic by awesome people all over the world. I started paying close attention the the numbers. My ego started to get stronger for the first time. My mood started to be affected by how many comments I got on a given post. If I got less one day or fewer votes on an outfit on chictopia I analyzed everything and tried to see what I had done wrong. My findings : shorter skirts, pretty hair, hats, higher shoes, over the knee socks and cool prints got better ratings. Also awesome makeup and a great sense of humor helped. I began to cater to blogworld. I lost myself for a little while.

Then I started getting sick. I was losing sleep thinking about my blog, my outfits, people I had failed to comment back to, my reputation. I was totally self obsessed. A rift began to grow between my family and me. I am not sure when all of this was taking place. I want to say December - like May or June of last year. I tried to scale back. I felt like a bitch for getting attention but not returning it. The summer brought some pretty major personal problems for me. I was dealing with some heavy things family wise, that put all of the blogging into perspective. I started focusing less on commenting and stopped checking my numbers so much. I stopped reading other blogs except for the ones that were linked to people I actually knew or felt a kinship with. I began to REALLY enjoy blogging in a whole new way. I had less pressure I was putting on myself. I stopped associating my self worth with the attention I was receiving. (Please note, when I began blogging, my personal self worth resembled a ritz cracker. Blogging and attention inflated that cracker to Guinness Book of World Record proportions. It felt great, at first, but I saw the danger in letting my self worth be related to a freaking computer, and clothes, and words.) I finally began to allow some separation and feeling my worth away from all the blog stuff. I knew the blog couldn't have any power over the way I thought about myself because if it could make me feel good it could also make me feel bad.

In the end of November I had an epiphany. I tried to blog about it, but I don't really think blogging was the best forum for all of that. It was more of a personal discovery and I thought that if I shared it with people reading my blog that maybe it would help others. I thought maybe I had a purpose and a reason for throwing all of my thoughts out into oblivion. . . and maybe I did. I just typed right out of my heart. I had been doing that anyway all along, but I think I was a little bit more guarded before. Ever since then it has all been different for me. For a while I thought that maybe I had a responsibility to blog and share my thoughts, but I realize that was just residual ego left over from being the oldest child in a family of four. "Be a good example" "Be a role model." "Lead by example." All the things I was raised hearing. That is just ridiculous. I don't need to feel that responsibility. That feels so . . . egotistical that I even thought that. I guess I waiver between feeling like I am just fine on my own in my simple little life, to feeling like I have a responsibility to be a part of the larger world, to do something bigger, but through BLOGGING? Really? That is the way I will reach and influence people for the better? A part of me says yes. maybe. But why?

I tired to do more in my local community but it feels a little like starting at square one. A part of me is lazy. and quiet. and introverted. and a total homebody. OK a huge majority of me. I guess we all want to feel important. We all want to be heard. Like those little Who's in Horton hears a Who or whatever that shit is: WE ARE HERE! WE ARE HERE! WE ARE HERE!! But if I get to the meat and bones of that, it just feels silly to me. I feel silly. The more distance I get from blogging, the more at peace I feel on my own, the more time I have with the people in my direct life and the more my mind can just be present and see what is right in front of me.

This is just how I feel. I may be a weird bird but whatever. Maybe I am just totally normal and boring and just not very extraordinary . That is totally fine. I shouldn't need people to tell me what I am. And people telling me things is what got me to this point so maybe I do need that, but I don't want to need that. So VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM . . . there goes my dive bomb. . . crash and burn. I am sure anyone reading this is not totally surprised. Please just know that I am fully aware that your reasons and experiences for blogging are probably completely different from mine. I don't judge anyone based on my own shit. I just thought I would give one last blabla bla. There. I am done. :)

Thank you for reading my thoughts these past months and for leaving your comments. It's had a profound effect on me. :)

Closet Progress

2011-05-18T10:29:00.000-07:00

I am ALMOST done with my new closet room!! I picked out paint last Saturday (Martha Stewart brand colors Flagstone and Zinc, but color matched for Behr paint in a flat finish) and while my husband taped everything off, my son and I painted all the low stuff, including a little desk I had in my old closet. We were finished panting by Sunday night.

All day Monday I moved my things from my old closet. There was a whole shit load of purging going on. LOTS and LOTS of trash bags full of stuff that didn't make the cut. It felt really good.

By Monday night it looked like this! The rug is a woven wool I had in another room, the chairs I picked up for $20 for the set at my local thrift store a couple of months ago, the baskets I found for $15 a piece at a local bead store and the little wicker table (as well as some woven wall hangings, not shown) I just found at another local thrift store for a few dollars! Including the paint, this DIY closet has cost me just over $200! I still have a ways to go, brainstorming on DIY light fixtures to hang from the 18' ceilings (Thinking of multi colored paper lanterns but I'll need to rig something due to the length of cord I will need), a solution for displaying / storing all of my belts and hats (better than nails in the wall), and the task of hanging my random found woven wall pieces and inspiration board. Also, I am creating an outdoor space on the deck through the French doors! I will be hanging a hammock and I have an outdoor rug, a huge wicker armchair and a bistro table and chairs I have been stashing away! I may also create a little space for outdoor yoga or something. I feel like finally all the stuff I have been squirreling away is coming to good use! Its all very exciting!

Do you have any suggestions for hanging belts and hats? I have well over 20 of each. After purging. Hmmm. May need to release more into the wild. We will see. I'll take more photos with my good camera once it is all done!

{EDIT: By the way!! I am not going to add anything else to my etsy shop and I am giving the lots that are still available just one more week to sell. Then that is the end of that. So, If you wanted something, get it before next week, and If you would like to make an offer on a lot (though the items are already at $10 a piece) just convo me in etsy and lets make a deal. I would love to see it sell, but if it doesn't it doesn't. Oh well. New plans. I really appreciate the support you have given me already and am so thankful that so much of it has sold already. It's been a good run. So, Thank You. }

inspiration board

2011-05-11T10:02:00.000-07:00

Random things that are giving me inspiration for my new dressing room. Images found by google searching "powder gray" "rust gray" "rust" "upcycled" or "circuit board boxers".

closet visit

2011-05-10T18:59:00.000-07:00

So I am transforming my now empty etsy selling vintage room into a gigantic dressing room / closet. . . and I am SO FREAKING excited! The room was actually originally a nursery for my son, and connects to my bedroom via private door but also has an additional door that leads to an outside hallway right across from the laundry room, making it a perfect space for a closet room since it is smaller than a bedroom (a twin sized bed would only just fit) but big enough for my industrial sized rolling racks! So now I am brainstorming wall colors and wall papers and hanging lights and shelving options. I am thinking planks of raw wood on industrial shelving brackets, powdery flat gray paint for the walls, inspiration photos covering some surfaces, wooden dowels for hanging hats and belts and scarves, some super amazing rug, a giant mirror leaned against the wall, cushy chair, a clothesline to hang hats on, small tables for accessories!!! All of my shoes lining the walls! I am also doing some MAJOR editing in my closet to give it more of a clean streamlined feel. I think I am more excited about organizing this space than I have been about anything creative for a long time!

All of these images are from closetvisit.com, a site I found recently that is giving me some serious creative mojo. Wow, go check it out. It is basically a site full of super cool girls and their closets. I have spent hours there.

More and Lots to go

2011-05-10T10:30:00.000-07:00

would fit a girl size small (2, 4 or 6)

Would fit a girl size 4 - 6

Would fit a girl size 2, 4 or 6.

Would fit a girl size 2, 4 or 6

All of these collections will be up for sale in my shop tomorrow between 11:00 and noon! Thanks! Sorry for the brevity!

wrap me up

2011-05-09T09:47:00.000-07:00

These make me feel incredibly happy when I look at them. For more textile samples check out this site.

LOTS For Sale!

2011-05-04T15:37:00.000-07:00

The lot sales went really well today! So glad this is working out so far!! I went straight out and put the remaining collections together and photographed the next 5! Below is the preview of the lots that will be listed and available to buy in my shop tomorrow May 5, between 11:00 and 1:00 Pacific time! I'll tweet when they are up! Thank you and good luck!!

A collection I was calling the "Dirty Hair Halo Lot" since all of these pieces sort of make me think of Shannon. In creamy, lacy dusty tones and will fit a girl about a size 4 - 6. Includes a long lace vest, a sheer lace skirt, wide leg palazzo pants in a dusty floral, sheer v neck blouse with lace detail at chest, 1950s poodle print crop top, cropped fringe suede jacket, tiered zig zag maxi skirt in dusty pink, embroidered collar shawl, 1940's wiggle dress and a crocheted cape.

Pink lover collection! This lot will fit a girl size 2 - 4 (though a few of the dresses would fit someone a little bit bigger). Includes a sheer black with large rose print day dress, little pink Jackie O suit with mink collar jacket, sheer 1940s sleeping gown with special embroidery, knitted pink wiggle dress from the 1950's, Art Nouveau print button up blouse, black with pink lace off the shoulder mexico dress, 1940's peplum waist day dress, and a 1950s pink lace cocktail dress that has been really hard for me to let go of. But I don't wear pink really.

This is a summery lot with lots of eyelets and neat prints. It would fit a girl about a size 4 - 6. Includes a printed sundress with matching jacket (a personal favorite), sweet eyelet cropped jacket, Diane Von Furstenberg bow print blouse (also a personal fave), polka dot print button down blouse with collar detail, Mint green Eyelet sundress, eyelet print blouse and skirt set with flower print, brown toned butterfly blouse, unique plaid tie waist crop top with huge puff sleeves, perfect denim dress and an eyelet and flower print sun skirt.

This lot has some really unique pieces in it. Would fit a girl about a size 4. Includes a great 70's bathing suit I never got around to wearing (but loved), a little printed slip dress, plaid tunic blouse, two pairs of vintage LEVIS "Bend Over" wide leg trousers that would fit size 4 girl who is about 5'5" (ahem, one inch shorter than me), A beautiful Avant Garde dress with a tulip shaped skirt, embroidered blazer (would look amazing with a fur stole!!), 1940's wool wiggle dress, A cream and gold scallop knit sweater and finally that great abstract zebra print day dress (loved this one!)

The last lot of the day is in turquoise and florals and would fit a girl size 8 - 10. It includes two Really amazing vintage bathing suits (I thought one day I would get them taken in for me. nope) a mint green sundress with beautiful embroidered flowers on the front, a super soft tunic tank sundress, light weight purple sundress, floral print cropped mumu dress, Hawaiian floral sundress, Peach button up blouse, abstract floral flutter sleeve dress, and a mod 60s neon floral print dress.

I hope you see something here that you like, but if not I have several more collections coming in the next few weeks! PLUS I have loads of shoes I will try to blow out as well! Thank you for all of your support and for hanging out with me through this transition! You guys are so great! OH!! And I have had a glimmer of what I will do next!! I think It will definitely have to do with MAKING something. Things. Making with my hands. I don't know what yet but I have been gathering materials. It's all very exciting!!! (wink * wink * Kristi M!)

I am a freaking genius. Yup. Just kidding. not really. I think.

2011-05-03T15:15:00.000-07:00

Let me just say that that was the VERY BEST VACATION I HAVE EVER TAKEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE SO FAR!!!! Now that I have that out of the way, and the fact that I am completely restored, revived, revamped, reconditioned, realigned, reconfigured, rehabilitated and reminded that life is sooo freaking good, I am ready to get moving on the moving on out, vintage selling wise. Last night in my newly clarified and amped up creative state, the kind that keeps your eyes rolling in your head past midnight with the grease lighting fast thoughts that make you feel like you must be a freaking genius and you solve all of your's and the world's problems in your head while you roll around giddy with creative juicy happiness, I figured out how I am going to move this vintage stuff right into your happy, soon to be stuffed full, closets.

You follow so far? It doesn't matter if you don't - This is what I am going to do and what I have done so far: I am grouping collections of 10 pieces together in like styles, colors, and sizes and selling them in these well edited lots. Each lot will consist of not only 10 amazing, mix and match pieces, but will also get a few belts and scarves or other accessories that seem to fit the lot, thrown in at my own generous discretion (I have a whole bunch of stuff to toss in that I would love to give!) . A preview of the first five is shown below.

This lot is in gold and blue tones and will fit a woman size 4 - 6. It includes a crocheted button up vest, navy jersey tunic dress, mustard leather trench coat, sweet floral dress, super soft cream and gold weave sweater, silky print elastic waist skirt, sweater girl sweater, super high waist sailor jeans, gray suspender pencil skirt and a silk leopard blouse.

This lot is in neutral and black tones and will fit a woman size 8 - 10. It includes a silk dot print blouse, button up black lace long shirt, mixed print dress, textured silk black flutter dress, subtle southwest print tunic, black loose knit boho dress with expandable waist drawstring, cream romper (yes, it will fit a size 8), woven print jacket, light weight top, and a super awesome cream blazer.

This lot is in sunny yellows, mints and cream and will fit a woman size 2 - 4. It includes a pretty eyelet vest and skirt set, embroidered yellow butterfly top, watercolor floral day dress, yellow romper, halter dress with pleated skirt and brushstroke print, textured mint day dress, watercolor floral crop top, drop waist striped day dress, white lacy sundress, and a pink floral print crop top.

This lot features cooler prints and denim and will fit a woman size 2 - 6 ish. It includes a great fitting perfect wash pair of vintage wrangler jeans, great printed tops, a sweater, denim vest, longer textured gray blazer, some Bill Blass overall shorts (that fit perfectly) and a great dress.

This lot is one of my favorites, in purple black and creamy tones and will fit a woman size 2 - 4. It includes a gorgeous print one piece pant romper, high waist leather skirt, light paisley and blue paisley print blouses, a killer black dress with a fitted diamond shaped waist line, 100% cream silk tank dress, purple print button up wiggle dress, black velvet high waist pencil skirt, dark pink silk skirt with waist detail and a fitted boy style green gray blazer.

These first 5 collections will be listed for sale (with additional photographs of key items) in my Etsy Store tomorrow, May 4, for $100 a piece and will also include extra accessories such as belts, scarves necklaces and bracelets. I know that you know your math and I have rationalized this price well in my head: 10 pieces, $10 a piece PLUS EXTRA SPECIAL GIFTS!! Its a good idea right!!?? I will have a total of 20 collections in all I think so these are just the first 5. I think I will be able to fit most of them in flat rate $15 shipping boxes for shipping in the U.S. but international shipping will have to be negotiated. If you follow me on twitter you will be able to see when each collection is listed. If everything goes to plan I should have every item I have, listed and for sale by the end of the month! GLORIOUS!!!

Any feedback on this?? I have not done the listing yet so if there are any blaring alarms bells that anyone else can see that I am over looking please advise. It's really a grab bag situation, but the loot is all really really good. So, do you think I am a genius too, or am I deluding myself into thinking this is a quick and easy way to go about this, that actually really doesn't work for you guys at all?

Vintage Missoni

2011-04-29T08:36:00.000-07:00

I am still totally in Mexico. And very likely wearing this vintage Missoni swim romper that I found last October at the Sac Antique Faire that I used to always talk about. I only went there one time, but Let me tell you, it was a really really good time. By the way, I totally have house sitters and stuff. . . and they have guns. So if there are any crazy internet people out there that are thinking of breaking into my house. . . you ought not to. . . If you know what is good for you. Besides, I took all the good shit with me to Mexico. I will be seeing the rest of you next week when I begin to finally sell the rest of my stuff. Thanks for your patience if you are still hanging around here. And have a lovely weekend!

Hat: thirfted
Belt: gift
romper: treasure
shoes: J. Crew
Cardi: AA

this doesn't make sense.

2011-04-27T08:20:00.000-07:00

I took these pictures last weekend because right now I am gone. Cruising on a ship somewhere in the Gulf of Mexico. Don't be envious of me though. I probably had a bit too much fun last night and am, as you read this, nursing a headache and a raw tummy. But then again, maybe I am laying on a chaise lounge in Belize right now and drinking an Ice Cold Brewski. I have only anticipation of what will come, seeing as how, while I write this, I am still in my house in the kitchen with a runny nose and a lot of cleaning and packing to do. I am excited though! Hope you are having an excellent week so far! According to my plans I am taking pictures of this trip! I have no idea if I really am though since sometimes the best laid plans fail, but I have every intention of taking some!

Scarf trick top from last Friday, scarf thrifted
Shorts from AA
everything else thrifted.

easy fix

2011-04-25T07:20:00.000-07:00

I found this printed piece at the thrift store and it was originally a dress. The fabric is so floaty and soft though that I thought it might whip up and show my undies without my consent in the windy spring we are having so I sewed a tiny one inch section at the hem between the legs to make it a romper! I love it like this! The top is so slouchy and with the pockets it will surely be a serious staple for me. Regarding this turban, I guess everyone has tutorials now on how to do this, but I actually was shown in real life by Gabbi who arrived at my house a few Fridays ago wearing one as the perfect little topper to an already perfect outfit. Gabbi, in case you were wondering, is actually my new etsy apprentice / amazingly smart, intuitive and beautiful friend and will be helping me list and sell stuff next week / month. She has an amazing eye for vintage as well and has a new blog so go check her out and say hi if you want! You will not be disappointed! She is a real sweetie!

Everything thrifted except for the shoes which are Lucky Brand and the ring, a gift from a dear friend.

little boobs

2011-04-22T07:38:00.000-07:00

Another scarf trick that makes me happy I have very little boobs! Just an extra large scarf, folded into a triangle and wrapped around my body twice to tie in the front up top. A little flap of extra fabric folds over the tie. The shrug is an infinity scarf. Have a fan-freaking-tastic-weekend!!

Shrug scarf: UO
Necklace and tube top scarf: thrifted
Pants: H&M
Shoes: J. Crew

diamond in the rough

2011-04-21T19:43:00.000-07:00

I am packing for a trip that is coming up for me soon (hint: it will be tropical) and I was playing with my scarves and I think I invented this. I am sure I am not the first person to do this but its new to me. A diamond shaped sliver of abdomen shows with this scarf trick, and I think I am 100% okay with that. It seems like such an innocent slice of flesh doesn't it? Solar Plexus. The center. The home of will power and ego (according to my yoga instructor). Basically what I did was take an extra large scarf, fold it into a large triangle, put it on like a shawl with the long side of the triangle over my shoulders, then took those long ends and tied them behind my back. This made a sort of shrug, right, so then I took a little broach and pinned it closed up front. Vvvvwaaa Lllaaa. Shirt with a peek a boo, egocentric, diamond cutout. (the back just looks like the back of a shawl, but I tied it up into the other knot and made it look nice and slouchy back there, sorry no pics, but I will take some next time.)

All items thrifted.

Plan B

2011-04-19T18:48:00.000-07:00

Hi. So the event was successful. I hope I was able to convey from the photos the sort of mixed feelings I had that day. I am in a state of limbo now. I still have all the neatly organized, bunched together body bags of vintage over filling my car, reluctant to bring them in for fear that I will have wasted the energy I mustered to get them out in the first place. The original plan was to lay out a blanket on the lawn this past weekend, systematically open each bag and lovingly fold them into shipping boxes, ready for their next destination. That didn't happen. Practical issues got in the way. How does one ship 200lbs of clothing across the states affordably? Hmm. Shipping the lot. The final obstacle. Not to mention that I fell a tad short of my projected sales goal for the party. SOOO. The stuff remains in my car until I finish formulating PLAN B: the somewhat more tedious, less easy, more responsible way to finish out strong. I said in my resignation speech last week that my final day would be May 31st. Looks like my boss is holding me to that. And doesn't that always happen! Every job I have resigned from (all of them so far) I have put in a generous amount of notice and each of my bosses have worked my ass to the bone in those final days. I guess that is a good sign, but you always hope that they will just cut you your final check when you put in your notice, right! And then you walk out the door! No loose ends to tie up, no final projects to finish! Just FREE. . . . but why would I expect working for myself to be like that? There was this one time that I called my boss from work and just said "Hey, I quit. I am sitting in the back of the store and I will sit here for 30 minutes until you get a manager here, then I am gone. If a manager doesn't show up I will just lock the door and leave." That was a mistake. It felt amazing and liberating, but burned that bridge SO hard and eventually made me feel like a piece of shit. NOT a smart move. The equivalent of this for this business would be to just pull up to the thrift store and donate it all. tomorrow. And don't think I didn't consider it. . . I know I would regret it though. That just feels sloppy and lazy and wrong to me. Not that there is ANYTHING wrong with donating to thrift stores, but it would leave me with the final debt of my business unrecovered ( guess that is not a word, unrecovered, but it feels like the right word for this), and that feels irresponsible.

What is PLAN B then? Well. I guess I am pretty sure I will have to sell some things myself here on the blog or in the etsy shop. Maybe I will bundle "like things" together and sell them as packages. I don't know yet. But I said I would work till May 31st and I guess I have to hold myself to it. . . shit. . . its not that bad. I am actually incredibly good at working toward a deadline. I like having solid end points. They give me focus and control. I will not start this final selling till May though. I have a few things going on in the next two weeks that will keep me away from proper organization and planning so don't anticipate anything right away. Two weeks of limbo, one month of focused selling, then . . . . the next thing.

Speaking of the next thing. I don't know what it is yet. That is OK with me. just fine actually, I DO PLAN TO BLOG ABOUT THIS THOUGH. Just letting those of you who showed an interest know. I will let you know how it goes. This blog took a major shift and turn at the end of November last year and I am just continuing to round out the curve. Some of you may remember my canoe or car theory. Still riding along in my little boat. I am on the right track though. I know I am. I love that occasionally we can see each other on our individual, separate routes.

Behind the scenes: an honest account

2011-04-15T10:03:00.000-07:00

last minute decisions

letting go

the empty space

Getting my shit together

Money for the till

Before the arrivals

A successful event.

but maybe I could get away with it . . .

2011-04-13T18:34:00.000-07:00

The air couldn't settle on how it wanted to be today. When I took my son to school I was wearing shorts, these loafers, and this white sweater. It was sunny and warm. By mid day the wind picked up and I changed into jeans. Soon it was sunny and SNOWING and windy. I finally had to grab a hat trench and this miraculously warm and soft, hand knit scarf. I am so happy to have the tools to adapt to change.

Shoes, sweater, hat, coat, belt and purse: thrifted
Pants: Levis
Scarf: A very cherished gift from a very thoughtful friend. I am sorry you can't see all the different buttons in shades from cream to burnt orange and mustard. And it feels softer than a baby lamb slung over your shoulders. Well, I have never actually touched a baby lamb, but I have been completely preoccupied by the the thought of obtaining one for a day to just hold and pet. There is a fresh batch of them grazing alongside one of the roads I have been frequenting and I have nearly had to pull over to just get a closer look at them through the fence. I have imagined myself jumping over the fence and just grabbing one. It's a little nutzoid. But this scarf is doing me just fine for now. Thank you sweet friend for keeping me out of jail for attempted lamb stealing (since I know I would get caught. I ran the scenario over in my head. It's . . . sort of a bad idea. . . )

Don't worry, be . . .

2011-04-12T19:08:00.000-07:00

I am ridiculously happy right now! I am making the right decision! Last night I was filled with angst and I asked for a sign, some proof that I was heading the right way, and I got it clear as day! Black and white! In a literal spoken message meant exactly for me. Just an hour ago from a stranger at the grocery store! I couldn't feel more at peace right now. All of my uncertainty is gone. And don't these pictures look so different to you? I feel different. Thank you thank you THANK YOU for all of your heart's words on my last post and for all of your support and encouragement! And please don't feel sad. Things are going to be all right. I know they will. I want to hug you.

Also, you were right Paige. Thank you.

come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly away. . .

2011-04-11T15:31:00.000-07:00

I have an announcement to make. Well, actually, I guess I would like to whisper something in your ear because about a quarter of my heart doesn't really believe what I am about to tell you and is positive it will be screaming "I told You SO!" in a short while making me feel like a total cereal flake and sikester, yet again. In fact, the last time I proclaimed something and failed to deliver on my claim, I told myself it would be wise to never commit verbally or in written word again, but to just make a mental note to myself, and accomplish said commitment on my own, providing the wiggle room to back out if my heart so chooses to, thus avoid public humiliation and judgment. But you know the biggest judge is myself anyway since, no offense to anyone, the judgment of a stranger (not that you all are strangers, in fact I would absolutely, unequivocally call some of you my dear friends, though if you are truly my friend, you accept these slight eccentricities of mine and therefore do not judge me anyway, which is why I call you my friend in the first place) is really moot and I have far more critical views on myself than any one else could ever have anyway (which I assure you, I am TOTALLY working on!) I guess the reason I feel compelled to share this whisper with you here now is that most of you have really been on this blogging and vintage selling ride with me for a while now, and I feel like One or More of you could give me some ideas for how to accomplish my goal in the most painless way possible, while also providing you an opportunity to get something in return (if you even have an interest.)

I am quitting the Vintage Biz. I have put in my notice to myself and my last day is May 31, 2011.

Yikes. I said it. Well, I have not hit publish YET so I still have some time to talk myself off the ledge here. But basically, yes. I am quitting. It is not for financial reasons. It is not because of any concrete reason exactly. It's just time for me to do something else and as long as I have this stuff stuffing my house, I can't move on properly. It feels weird though because one of the main reasons I have an attachment to selling (not that I have been doing much of it lately anyway) is that I like to have an answer to the question "What DO YOU DO?" "Oh, me? I am a vintage seller. I sell vintage clothing online." For some reason (one that makes me feel uncomfortable to admit) just saying I am a "stay at home mom and wife" doesn't seem enough. For some reason I feel the business of selling justifies my eccentric way of dressing, gives me something to do during the week while my son is at school, a purpose when I am at the shops rapidly wiping each hanger in split second time to reach the end of each rack while piling my cart high with treasure. I began the shop as a cover up and cope with my OVER thrifting habit and enable myself to continue my bingeing, but one coping mechanism just creates a different problem. I am not facing the issue.

It would be easy to argue that my shop in some way is a successful attempt at making my passion and hobby into a business, but there is the freaking rub. I am incapable of maintaining a passionate feeling once money is involved. In fact, money has never been a motivating factor for me, though I require more of it to continue, if I lack the passion for said activity (and truth be told, I would rather have my time than the money in that case.) And I am very very lucky to be able to be a stay at home mom. VERY LUCKY. I know this. I just feel like now that my son is in school, how can I justify "stay at home mom" when I am the only one at home. Then I am just a woman who stays home all day. . . if not selling vintage, then doing what? Reading? Laundry? Dishes? Doing Yoga? Dancing around my house to loud music? One can only do these things for so long before they feel they are not living fully. There must be something more. and maybe selling vintage, a cure for an ailment that has passed, is not THE THING I am destined for. And maybe not styling other people either since while it was fun for a couple of months to try out, was not what I expected. Maybe there is NO THING but I will never find out as long as I am distracting myself and filling my time with things that have outlasted their usefulness to me. It's time for me to move on.

So, how does this relate to you? Well, the above photos are about 80% of my entire stock I have left. There are 4 trash bags of "lost cause" things that will be donated back to the thrift stores, and a few hold outs that tug too hard on my psyche to let go of in phase one (they are my personal stash items in case of panic later down the road, the cream of the crop things that will give me comfort and memories when this chapter of my life has ended.) All of these things are going. in some way shape or form. I am first trying to sell it at this party my mom and I have planned for this Thursday, then I am listing each piece online (with the help of Gabbi who I will do a whole post about soon). I guess I was wondering if there was some program that would allow me to just photograph like all of my belts, just as I have above, and you can just scroll over each with your cursor and the size and price will appear in the picture. I know I have seen it before. Is this an easy programming job or does it take a genius? I just want to make this stuff available as cheaply and quickly as possible. Whatever is left. Or, do you know of any sellers that would maybe consign my stuff in their shops? Unfortunately I do have a wee bit of credit card debt I have to eliminate or else I would consider GIVING it away, but I just want to break even and maybe even walk away with a teensy bit of change in my pocket to help me in my next chapter. Anyone interested in purchasing the whole lot? I have a very clear $$ amount in my head. A very fair amount.

I am going to publish now. I am not even going to proof read this, its just going to fly.

itemized.

2011-04-07T18:58:00.000-07:00

Hat: Stolen from Husband, originally from Banana Republic. While this hat looks OK on me and I wear it often, it actually looks much better on him.

Coat: My all time favorite $12 Vintage find. I can sell every other amazing coat I find as long as I know this old faithful is hanging in my closet.

Dress: Vintage from the 1940's, a gift from my mom's friend Lynn who got it from her mother-in-law, who has held on to it all of this time along with a whole huge wonderful batch of 40's day dresses that I am going to try to sell for her at a huge vintage / handmade jewelry party my mom and have put together that is happening at a little cafe in my town one week from today. If you live in the greater Northern Nevada area you are totally invited. Email me for the address and time. secondskin19 (at) gmail (dot) com.

Belt: thrifted

Belt Case: A very lovely and thoughtful gift from my sweet friend Seval. She lives in Turkey and has taught me that Istanbul must be one of the most amazing cities in the world. I will one day go there and visit her. Though she and I have not emailed or corresponded for some time now, I know that we will always be friends.

Boots: just from Nordstrom a couple of years ago.

Plant.

2011-04-06T09:47:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking a little (not too, too much since I am trying something new for a change) about what you said in response to my post on grounding Monday. Terri suggested I plant a garden. A literal planting actually seems to make SO much sense to me! Tavolini suggested I think about the Kudzu and even offered to send some to me (I am investigating this Kudzu! I have never even heard of it! Thank you for your suggestion!) And Alyson actually has a tattoo that reminds her to just BE! I really enjoyed all of your feedback. Thank you.

Going back to this Planting and Gardening idea, Terri's comment really effected me. It always seems like the most obvious things can be so easily overlooked when you think the answers must be complex. Even doing yoga, while a physical act, is still somewhat symbolic of something else. Why not do the physical act of planting when you are trying to root? Interestingly enough, I have had two raised flower bed that my husband lovingly built for me to all of my specifications, when he built our house. That was 8 years ago and I have NEVER laid a seed in those beds. . . or even tried to plant growing potted plants. Last weekend though, before we even started our week of grounding yoga postures, I went out and weeded and tilled both boxes. Cleared them out. When I got Terri's comment I began to ask myself why I have never planted before? The answer was a bit surprising and embarrassing for me. I have never planted because I don't think I have the nurturing capabilities to raise little plants. I fear I will forget to water them or disregard them in a frost and I will cause them to suffer and die due to my lack of attention and discipline. Ouch. I do live in a harsh climate. I know that I may put in my very best effort and still end up committing mass murder on the little darlings. If only by allowing it to happen. But this year, I feel lucky. I think I had already subconsciously decided that this year is the year I am going to do it. I just need to take my time, plan it out, ask for help, be patient, wait for the growing season to officially begin (June 1 in my area) and not skip steps. Let the process be the lesson. I really really need to try to follow through on this.

Shirt, shoes, earrings, belt: vintage
Pants: Flarey from H& M
Bracelet: an African Crafts and Goods store I found in Palm Springs

a little less conversation

2011-04-05T07:25:00.000-07:00

Everything vintage except for the J. Crew Shoes, Earrings made by my mom, and Necklace (I will tell you about this necklace another tiime.) Enjoy your Tuesday!

washy.

2011-04-04T14:20:00.000-07:00

I am tired of feeling wishy-washy and flaky. It's not good for me to think of myself that way. Too judgmental. I mean, during spring time when its 80 degrees one day, windy the next and then snowing on the day after that, we don't say, "Whoa, this weather is acting so wishy-washy and flaky lately. It really needs to get some self discipline, put its nose to the grindstone, and decide what it wants to do." (or whatever we say about people who change their moods and minds frequently.) I think instead we just check the weather reports or take a look out the window and decide what tools we will need to be comfortable on any given day. I know that the weather is controlled by pressure and the earth's rotation and orientation to the sun and all of that cosmic stuff, and I think that I am effected by certain forces too. Things I may have little control over. I know I should be able to override certain environmental variables, but I have come to realize that instead of my brain being wishy-washy or fickle or weak, it is just the opposite, I am giving it too much power over me.

Consider this for a sec: I have observed that the earth is very submissive. It just IS. It allows it's surface to change, it's water to rise and fall and shape its dirt, it's air to move and swirl, it's crust to press together and crumble under the pressure, or separate and create chasms. The sun shines on it relentlessly in one place or another. The earth is turned and spun by unseen forces, and it does not resist. It is in a constant state of decay and growth, not trying to hurry either process, in fact, it is perfectly accepting of all of this happening. It just is. And that is VERY POWERFUL in my opinion.

So, where am I going with this? In yoga this week we are working on grounding ourselves. Feeling the earth's support and appreciating it, rooting in so that we may plant seeds of action and change. My instructor said that if I have lots and lots of ideas but have trouble bringing them to fruition that I may need more grounding, that I may be spending too much time in my head, (not tending to my seeds, or in some cases, even planting them.) This confused me for a minute because I actually considered myself a pretty grounded person (there goes my brain), but when I think about the nature of the earth and how I am a creature on its surface, then feeling blown around and whishy-washy would signify to me that I don't have my feet firmly planted. I get whisked away from my projects too easily, and forget where I have set them down. I don't bend like a rooted tree that keeps it's integrity, I roll like a tumble weed going wherever I am blown. Especially in the spring time.

Do I want to root? Yes. To begin to root then, I need to go inside and see what's going on. If I think of my body as an earth, then my brain is the chaos that swirls all around and causes a ruckus. I need to find my calm center. Submit to external forces, but keep my feet firmly planted. Realize that while the brain's signals can feel powerful, the strength lies in the still core that allows the chaos to merely massage it's surface. We are bringing a lot of muscular awareness to our postures this week, holding the postures for longer and observing our tendencies. Working through the storms of the brain. Finding the calm center. The thing is, I am a perpetually calm person so this is a bit of a tricky balancing act. A polar shift. Calm the brain and activate the body by holding still in postures for longer. Hmm.

On a fashion related note, these pants are a bit of ordered chaos. They are vintage. I have had them for a couple of years now but lacked the confidence to just go with them. Sometimes it takes the right season, in this case SS11, to finally take a leap.

Absorption

2011-03-24T09:40:00.000-07:00

Well hello there. It's been a bitter cold month. I have been in hibernation. Almost quite literally. I just wanted to pop in quickly though to say that once the weather warms the freak up, I will venture out into the world again. I see signs of thaw all around so it shouldn't be too far off! And I am heading to the desert this weekend to warm my bones so that should recharge me a bit. My husband thinks I am like Super Girl (this is Superman's cousin who was also rocketed off the planet Krypton right before the explosion but landed on earth a grown teenager, and coincidentally actually metabolizes the sun's energy more efficiently than Superman making her a bit more powerful than her super cousin. Just a little bit of trivia for you.) in the sense that I get my super powers from the yellow sun and need to be taken to it occasionally to grown my strength. Who knows. Maybe I just need more Vitamin D. In any case, see you soon. And thank you, THANK YOU very much for your comments on my last post. I have been absorbing lots more wisdom from my Yoga instructor that I will share when I get back. I also feel much MUCH better than I did that day. I just needed to take a little break from some things to reassess and freshen up. Ok, Well. Ya. *smile*

A lesson for myself

2011-03-10T11:48:00.000-08:00

I wrote this yesterday:

I found this chart doing a google search for Apathy. Am I the only one who googles my mental states to better understand them? After studying the chart, I was reminded of my crazy cycles charts from last November. I knew this was coming. Self fulfilling prophecy? Meh. Does it matter? Who cares. The reality is I have to change my freaking perspective. Get a new hobby. Volunteer. Get a real freaking job like everyone else. I read that the cure for apathy is competence. Competence brings relaxation, control and even flow, the highest form of self actualization. If one does nothing, they will lose motivation to do anything and unchallenged, grow stupid and apathetic. I have to do something. Quick. Before I get into a pathetic negative energy loop where I feel guilty for feeling apathy since I can really do anything if I wasn't so freaking apathetic.

Today I feel much different. It seems my apathy was actually a coping mechanism protecting me from feeling sad. There is nothing wrong with feeling sad sometimes. Feeling sad is the opposite of feeling happy and we can't fully appreciate one without the other. Sadness provides a stark contrast so that when we are happy we know it. If I went through life feeling apathetic I would never suffer sadness, which awakens my brain and forces it to check for what is wrong so that I can make improvements. So today I am sad. And I know perfectly well why. . . and I am sitting with that and dealing with it like a mature adult . . . Crying my brains out and promising myself to make a greater effort in some areas of my life. As my friend said yesterday "I don't have to like the work, but I will love the results." (she is starting the P90X DVDs again today, and while my work is more internal, it still applies) Yoga this week has been all about shoulder work and opening the heart, an area that is incredibly tight for me. I have been crying in every class but today a shit ton of emotions opened up like a damn breaking. It was great. I felt sick and had to lay down for the last half of the class. Seems I was bottling some stuff in. Its all coming out now though.

I am blogging about this because I feel like there are others that might be like me and may find comfort in knowing that they are not alone. I felt alone today for a bit. . . But I know I am not and I am not asking for anything from you, whoever reads this. It just feels good to put it all out there. I am not even teary anymore. I am going to go get myself cleaned up now. Thank you for investing for a minute.

One last thing, My yoga instructor today said, "When you are sad try not to judge yourself. Think of yourself the way you would if you found your best friend feeling sad." That said, I am giving myself a big mooshy hug, making myself a nice cup of tea, and wiping my face with a warm wash cloth while petting my hair. It looks freaking ridiculous but I would try to make my best friend laugh a little too so I guess that works!

you can ring my bell.

2011-03-04T17:19:00.000-08:00

LOOK AT THESE. . . seriously. This artist (her name is Irina Werning and she is a photographer currently working in Buenos Aires, Argentina) has recently made it to my list of incredible geniuses that I would love to meet one day. I found her while sniffing around the internet this week (thank you Jackie!) Irina says that she has always been interested in vintage photographs and always tried to imagine how the people in them would feel and look if they tried to reenact them today. She started this project in 2010 and I believe it is ongoing. For more please check out her site.

A few other delicious tidbits to share:

Anyone interested (even the slightest bit) in SEX ought to read "Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex" by Mary Roach. I take my sexual health just as seriously as my overall physical health (so that means A LOT, in case you don't know me well) and this book was not only interesting and enlightening, its also incredibly funny and has some great visual aids. Example: chapter 9 is titled The lady's Boner and there is a picture of someone gently pressing a desk bell. (dude, seriously, scroll through them. Tell me those images don't give you a little smile.) THEN, If you have a morbid curiosity about dead bodies (as I do) Mary Roach also wrote a great one called "Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers." Great Great book.
Deanna! I finally have a concise answer for you. You asked: For me personally Helath= . . . ? I dilly dallied and thought about it for a long time and had an elaborate checklist at first (my eyes are clear and moisturized as well as my brain. . . bla bla bla) but the simple answer and the one I feel very certain of is this Health = Balance. Balance in every way you can imagine.
Alexander commented on my last post regarding Significant Occurrences in life, and lead me on a wild, all night searching and reading till my contacts dried onto my eyeballs, past midnight and my head exploded and I got all jabberwalkied, by simply introducing me to the term Synchronicity. "Google it." Thats what he said. "It will open a whole new world." Yep. Thanks. New world in the house.
Lets see, what else . . . that might be it for now. Enjoy your weekend!!
EDIT: I knew there was something else! BEAR GRYLLS. The man of Man vs. Wild. He has a blog. Have you ever watched this man start a fire by rubbing two sticks together? My husband just got me the first like 5 seasons or so on DVD, so, I have watched him do it several times now, and it just keeps getting better. Bear has now replaced Paul Newman as "The other man" in my life. Well not replaced, Paul will always have a special place in my heart, but Bear is a little closer to my age, and well, alive. Totally private and probably none of anyone's business but all of the things on this list have been my obsessions this week. "Now hold it gently, like you would hold a butterfly. You don't want to crush it but you don't want to let it go. . . and blow." -Bear Grylls, getting a fire started.

Don't call it fate. . .

2011-03-01T12:29:00.000-08:00

. . . but I have to call it something. Don't worry Merl, it's not what you think. Though it is something significant. See. . . How do things come together? Hypothetically speaking, how do significant things happen? Or really, if we want to go there, how does anything happen for that matter, since perhaps significance is simply perspective. I feel a strong feeling about X therefore it is significant, as opposed to feeling benign about something making it insignificant. Some people call meaningful jaw dropping occurrences fate or destiny. Some people think that things just happen spontaneously and that once in a while amazing things overlap and cross creating good feeling coincidences. Some people feel like everything that happened and ever is going to happen is already written and all we must do is submit to it and accept it, while there are people on the extreme opposite as well who feel that life is chaos with no pointed and defined path.

I don't actually worry too much about these things. I know it seems I talk a lot about cycles and purposes and inner compasses and things like this, but worry or fret are not a part of that thinking. I am one of those people that see miracles everywhere though. Simple and complex. Earthly and Ethereal (not that either of those is more simple or complex than the other). I can be certain though, that my detour to The Salvation Army last week (with Merl and Paige, where I ran into Terra and purchased both this Skirt and Mint Sweater) was important. I almost didn't go there. I had several shops to choose from and even made a wrong turn, but we stuck to the plan (and happened to find beautiful things for Emily, Zoë and Amanda while we were at it) to start out our girls retreat in Lake Tahoe last weekend. That was a Significant Occurrence. . . SO I will call it. Simple: I found both this skirt and top which are perfect companions and fit like a dream and just happen to be amazing. Complex: We happened to run into my dear friend Terra who lives in Washington actually, but was visiting Reno for just a couple days and only got out for one hour to hit the shop that we happened to go to, but almost didn't. Hmm. Both felt SO cool.

Then we have this past weekend. Paige wanted to celebrate her birthday this year with a small handful of Women she felt a connection with whom she met through her blog. She loves cabins and snow and snuggling by the fire so she chose Lake Tahoe as the destination. I live nearby and found us a cabin we could all pitch in for and afford. Six women flew into Reno on Thursday from all over the states (and Canada, ey!) then we made our way to our weekend abode. So many stories were shared, so much laughter, cooking and reading and learning and asking and searching and feeling. There was something very cleansing and fortifying about last weekend for me. Vulnerable and Confident at the same time. There were so many complexities and relationships between experiences and pasts, yet I have emerged from the weekend feeling like things are so SO simple. The more I look into others, the more I see myself. I see how I am connected to everyone. If I let myself be. It's so easy to love when you see that depth and realize that that sameness exists. I love these women.

And I see now why this blog has been so important to me and why I can't give it up completely. It may appear to be a style blog, but it is not just that. I may enjoy clothing and connecting found items from random thrift stores, but the real reward for me has been the depth of personal connections it has allowed me to find here on the internet. The outfits I wear are, yes and expression, but really deep down a lure to attract your attention. Much the way a flower grows as it does to attract the bee. The bee sees it, and if it is the bee's "kind" of flower it will land and perhaps did deeper to find the good stuff. The flower will bloom either way and produce as much nectar as it will, but if the bee stops, digs in and finds the nectar, it can take some of the essence of that flower with it and mix and sprinkle it around where ever it goes. We all take the roles of bees and flowers in my opinion. This metaphor can be taken much further, but I don't want to burden you with too much more nectar right now. My final point is that I Believe in Symbiosis. With nature, with the universe, with people (who are in my opinion both). Maybe it's not Fate that brings people together, but it is SO Amazing.

All items thrifted. Though the necklace was a thrift gift from Paige. Thank you.

Get all liquored up and go to the peach tree dance

2011-02-15T06:00:00.000-08:00

How do you know what is real? Do you trust your head (so, what your eyes and ears tell you) or your gut (what your instincts tell you)? And if you trust your gut, what informs the gut? Intuition? Past experiences? Suppressed memories? If you trust your head, how do you know your senses are perceiving things as they really are? You don't have to answer. I am mostly asking myself these questions to know more about how I come to conclusions about the world. I believe both systems are flawed slightly. You can never know if what you hear is biased or even true. Visuals can be faked or altered. I personally usually trust my gut more than my head and feel out what I believe rather than think it out, and it can sometimes lead to trouble. Or crazy assumptions. Or really good decisions, I guess depending on a bunch of physical variables (if I have had enough sleep, proper hydration, yoga, etc.) I have really been examining how I perceive the world and life lately. I have been realizing that even if I HAVE ALWAYS trusted my instincts, I have been wrong before. A safety net of logic should act as insurance before assuming anything. In fact, The Four Agreements say that we should never assume anything anyway. Better to ask questions to gain clarity. The problem is you can ask questions, get your answers and your gut could tell you that the person is lying to you anyway. Hmmm.

My gut also tells me that cream corduroy pants are simply amazing and the best new addition to my wardrobe. My head says they may be a tad impractical, but my gut's voice is louder so screw it! I am wearing these as much as possible!

Pants, cardigan: on clearance at Banana Republic and bought with a gift card (whoo hooo!!)
Scarf, shirt, shoes: thrifted
Purse: gift from one of the coolest girls in the world.

Oh, and my title was a suggestion from my husband. It's from There Will Be Blood. We have seen that movie lots of times. He definitely made decisions with his gut. Unfortunately, to horrific result. Though entertaining. Hmmm.

Feel it

2011-02-14T11:26:00.000-08:00

Last Friday Gabbi (My new friend that is learning the vintage selling ropes while helping me be more productive with my etsy selling) arrived wearing this short sleeved peach striped cardigan. I lost my MIND since it is exactly what I have been looking for this spring, NOT TO MENTION that it is vintage St. John AND the exact color palette I have been craving. I know what you are thinking, that I took advantage of the sweet girl and nabbed it from her. WELL, I didn't. In fact I am simply borrowing it for two weeks in exchange for her borrowing a few things from me (it had to be A FEW things, not one thing, since I WOULD have felt like I was taking advantage of her if the trade didn't feel as good to her as it did for me. Oh And SHE offered) Needless to say, this girl has a natural eye for great vintage. She found it at the Goodwill, just chilling among the gnarly, pilled up old sweaters. Ahhh. I love the thrift stores.

I am having a lovely Valentines Day. Nothing spectacular or over the top, in fact just a normal nice regular day, but really feeling love. It is so nice. I hope you are all feeling love too today.

As I Promised, I am listing the early spring things I featured last Friday right now. I should be done by like 2:00 ish if you just want to check back later. No pressure. Have a very lovely day! Drink a delicious cup of tea (to love yourself) and text or call the people that make your heart skip a beat when you think of them, even if you will be seeing them later. It's always nice to hear I Love you.

stripe sweater: vintage St. John Knits, borrowed from Gabbi
Long sleeved Crocheted cardigan: vintage thrifted
Necklace: vintage thrifted
Pants: AE
Shoes: J. Crew ( I actually wish these shoes had a cell phone so I could send them a love text. They make my heart skip beats whenever I see them. See, Love comes in all shapes and forms.)

Early Spring

2011-02-11T15:37:00.000-08:00

I have been receiving all of these early spring catalogs and it's making me feel impatient to just start selling these springy floral things. I know many many many of you are buried in snow, buuuuuut I thought I would just give these a try in the shop as sort of an "Early Spring" collection (plus its still summer down under). And really, as stand alone items they can all be winterized. Well, maybe not ALL of this stuff, but some of it.

I will be listing these items for sale, and tweeting each listing, on Monday, February 14th starting at 11:00 am pacific time. There are still some really great wintery things in the shop right now that I am offering a 40% discount on through this Sunday at noon. Just click HERE and enter promo code: TAKEITOFF at checkout to receive your discount. Thanks so Much!

(click images to view larger)

just like a woman

2011-02-11T06:00:00.000-08:00

When I was a little girl, I thought that my best friend's grandma smelled SOOOOO good. Not even in a grandma sort of way. Not like baking and mothballs or whatever we associate grandmas with (I associate mine with tea smells) but in a really great feminine, WOMANLY smell. In fact, one day I asked her what her perfume was, since she wore it daily without fail as her signature scent, and she told me it was called WOMAN. I have no idea now who it was by or where I could get some but it wouldn't have mattered since she let me spray a little on my wrist while I was visiting with her granddaughter one time. Unfortunately, it smelled different on my skin. Not awful, but definitely NOT like my friend's grandma. I have not thought about her and that smell for a very very long time. But I did yesterday and I will tell you why. You know how I ordered these things (the necklace and kimono from two posts back) from Erstwhilevintage? Well when I opened the box and lifted the meticulously wrapped items (she even included really great vintage photographs in her packaging!!), I started to smell it again. I immediately put the necklace on and as I lifted the kimono out I hugged it to my nose. It is WOMAN. Specifically in the childhood-best-friend's-grandma sort of way. It is subtly but EXACTLY the way she smelled. Like, I want to call her and ask her if this was hers before. Some people may get weirded out if they wear second hand or vintage clothes that bear the scent of its previous owner, but I sort of like it sometimes (not in the musky, BO sort of way, but in the perfume sort of way). I WILL NEVER WASH THIS EVER. I will smell it as often as possible because I know eventually the smell will fade, as does everything, and I won't encounter it again for a very long time I am sure. Maybe Never. Ahhhh, I just hugged myself and sniffed my arm. I feel like my smell is already making it weaker.

{EDIT: It is so sweet of you guys to mention my hair. I guess I haven't really talked about it, but I am continuing to slowly go lighter and lighter. I am really digging a light, cool blonde these days and even though I feel like it needs to be toned (its been 3 weeks since my last color so it looks a bit yellowish to me) I really love how its turning out. These pictures were taken on day four of not being washed. Last Sunday I washed it, blew it out and used a straightening iron on it for a change, so it looks like I have smooth hair, a contrast to my usual crazy waves. I did give myself a trim about 2 weeks ago so its feeling really healthy right now too. Here is a link to my hair cutting technique. So thank you for noticing and for the nice comments. :)

Kimono, necklace: Erstwhilevintage
Purse: thrifted vintage
tank: AA
Pants: gift from mother-in-law(!!! I know right! They are actually yoga pants)
Shoes: old navy from waaaay back

jump drive move

2011-02-10T07:00:00.000-08:00

Because my computer was and is giving me so much trouble, my sweet husband bought me an external hard drive and a little jump drive to sort of clear some space from my folders and be able to move pictures from my computer to his computer for the time being. I have no idea why I didn't have a jump drive before. I always just emailed things to myself if I needed something on another computer, then retrieved it from my email. Seems as though I am finally stepping into a more mobile world.

It has been ridiculously warm and sunny here in Northern Nevada. Like in the 50s and 60s! Crazy beautiful weather! I love it! AND . . . I took about 200 pictures yesterday of new things that will be coming to the shop, on . . . Monday . . . I believe. I will do a preview soon.

On a friend note, my lunch with my new friend the other day went great and we have a movie date set up! AND THEN, last night I was at my son's swim lessons and I saw this other mom that was there with her daughter and WE got to talking for like 2 hours while our kids played and found that we have a lot in common! I think I might have made ANOTHER friend! That is like 3 in one month! This stuff doesn't just happen to me. I know some people just make new friends all the time, but I have a very hard time connecting with people in real life. I mean, thats why I was so attracted to the internet in the first place. It allowed me to meet other people like me that didn't live in my small little town. I have to admit that for a LOOOONG while, I did shut LOADS of people out since I was unwilling to open myself up to friendship, but it seems like some crazy friend door has been opened and I am really happy and excited inside to take the risk and actually make friends. And I think they like me too? I feel like they do. We will see how it goes! It is definitely shaping up to be a very different year for me so far. But its good!

Sweater, hat, purse: vintage (it's funny, I took pictures with the hat on but it was too shadowed since my usual picture taking time is during swim lessons for the next week and a half, and I am taking my pics in the morning instead right now, so it looks like I am just holding it as a prop, but I did wear it. Just to let you know.)
shoes: lucky brand
pants: AA

Take it off

2011-02-09T11:06:00.000-08:00

Hi! As I said yesterday, I am getting ready to add some new things to the shop, but first I would like to offer you a 40% discount on the things that are still in there! Just pick out the things you like by going here, enter promo code: TAKEITOFF at check out, and receive a whopping 40% off your entire order. For reals. This offer will expire on Sunday, February 13th at noon west coast time. Anything that is left in the shop at that time will be stashed away for next season I think, so. . . ya. Cool. . . and I am only offering this to you guys, because you are cool and stuff.

Still working on the computer internet glitch. Its very annoying. . . but I am working on it. OK! Happy shopping!

. . . since we rock an rolled.

2011-02-08T10:57:00.000-08:00

Well Helllloooo. Guess what?! I have been so happy! Ya, that is the thing I was asking you to guess. My computer has been unable to connect to the internet so I have just been doing my thing, you know, breathing and what not (I am using my man's computer right now, so that explains the no pictures thing.) I have had some other cool stuff going on too. In January I had FOUR style clients (one who even had me shop for her and who I had a follow up appointment with to make outfits from the stuff I found her!) I also made a new friend in real life (she dropped into one of my yoga classes and we are having lunch today!! In one hour!) AND have been getting to know and teaching a girl who will be listing things on Etsy for me! (So like two new friends!) Lots of real life socializing going on over here. Which is very odd for me since I am a bit of a shut in.

I have also done just a tiny wee bit of shopping. I found this shop Erstwhilevintage on etsy the other day that got me pretty excited (where I bought the top two things) and I also late night texted Amanda after making the command decision that whatever is on the chair in the picture below (which is a shot of the inside of her brick and mortar vintage shop) just had to be mine. Turns out that that bundle of goodness is actually a stack of four pillow cases made form vintage rugs. Ya! Freaking tell me about it! AND They are being shipped to me as I type this! SCORE!!

So great right! I don't know, I am sort of freaking out about them. I have some fun weekends in February I am looking forward to as well. A concert weekend in San Francisco, and a sort of ladies retreat later in the month. So, ya. Things are really really great. I hope you are looking forward to a nice February as well! I plan to get my computer up and working soon, and I may even be listing some things for sale this Friday with Gabbi (my new girl!) so be looking for a preview maybe Thursday! And OUTFIT PHOTOs EVEN! I hope. See you soon!

target the magic

2011-01-25T18:17:00.000-08:00

I have been playing Lego Harry Potter every day. I have an hour and a half time limit (ahem, MY SON has a time limit) so it's not like I have been OBSESSIVE about it, but ya, when I close my eyes sometimes I see the little spinning circles that target my magic from my wand. It's awesome. I was never a big watcher of the movies actually and never read any of the books, but I FREAKING love the game. I think I am at a bit of a disadvantage because I don't know any of the characters names and sometimes you need a boy or girl from like Ravenclaw or some such to open certain things and I have to toggle through all of my characters to see if any of them will work. I don't know why I am telling you this. Maybe because we just passed the third year last night and when my son gets home this evening we have a date to start year four and we get new magic spells that break locks and stuff!! Its all I can think about right now really. Lame.

It's like I went through this super mind blowing, philosophical, spiritual, totally amazingly spectacular head trip during November and December and now all I can think about are Dexter and Harry Potter. I guess it comes and goes. Hmpf. My son adores me either way though so I guess that's all that matters. OK!! Of to the Goblet of Fire!!!

All stuff: thrifted

pretend, its real

2011-01-24T06:00:00.000-08:00

After thinking for a bit about my last post (post Dexter season 4 finale) I realized how easy it is for your body to feel things that your brain tells you is real, but in some cases really is not. I mean I really felt sad. The emotion is real, but the event or the story is totally made up and pretend. Its so interesting that our perceptions of what is, regardless of its realness, make it real or not real. I know philosophers have WAY more eloquent ways of saying what I just barfed out of my brain, but I think you get it right? Basically, it just made me wonder what other pretend stories I believe in, that effect me, but have no real solid existence outside of my tormented brain.

In other REAL news, I may be taking on a partner of sorts. A reader contacted me last month and told me that she had seen me around town and happened to stumble onto my blog afterward and realized that she recognized me from our chance encounters! She said she was interested in starting an etsy shop or learning more about thrifting and vintage and stuff like that and asked if I had any advice. After a nice phone conversation, we met for lunch last Friday and sat for 3 hours talking about all kinds of things! It was wonderful! By the end of the lunch we devised a sort of plan: She would come to my house every Friday and I would teach her everything I know about shopping, selling, styling, listing, photographing, and whatever else, and in exchange she will work for me to keep the etsy shop consistently updated and stocked (I will also pay her a per listing rate once we get going). We start this Friday. Its great timing since I have been working and focusing on this new styling business I am starting (have now had two clients and #3 is this Saturday!) but still wanted to continue the vintage selling. (Oh and in case you were asking, all the white dresses from two posts back, MIGHT be sold nearer to spring and summer. I just have not decided which one I am keeping yet.)

Jacket, boots, clutch: thrifted
Stole: vintage
Skirt, tank: AA

so killer

2011-01-20T13:30:00.000-08:00

Well hello there.

Ok, well, I think thats all I got for now. I think. PMS Today. I know right? Why am I sharing that information? Well, the thing is, I generally cry one day a month weather I feel like it or not and this month was particularly amusing. You see, my sister gave us the first two seasons of Dexter on DVD for Christmas (we watch TV shows on DVD since we don't get TV stations and I refuse to watch it online on my computer since my connection is too slow) and we blew through those seasons like white lightning (staying up till 2:00am on a freaking school night!) then proceeded to buy the third and fourth and we just finished the fourth two nights ago and I have been so sad ever since. How ridiculous right??!! The season finale of season four just shook me right up. I am in mourning over a pretend Dexter Character. If you have not seen it yet or have not made the commitment to watch Dexter YET, I am sure I didn't just ruin anything for you (and I feel a little weird because I NEVER talk about TV shows here, but holy freaking man jeeze. One makes exceptions in times like this.) So back to the crying, I was in a sort of off mood due to the hormones and my husband as he was leaving was like "Oh, do you think you might still be upset about 'The character in Dexter'?" and I freaking lost it! Bawling. Hilarious and silly and crazy. yes. that is me. at least once a month. Oh well. But dude, seriously, you should watch Dexter man.

Shirt, hat, Shoes, braceltets: Thirfted

Pants: levis

Belt: Anthropology

Oh Ya.

2011-01-18T17:35:00.000-08:00

I don't know about you guys, but the new Free People catalog gave me a raging fashion boner. I think I ogled those pages so many times the images are burned into my retinas. Plus it was like my only reading material on my drive to Palm Springs last week (which was beyond delightful, and I won't even rub in the wonderfully fantastic details) and I think that, and the trickery of the mock spring weather we are having right now, just makes me think its time for all of this creamy, layered goodness. Most of this stuff I have had sitting on my vintage "can't sell quite yet" racks for months just pleading for the right time. Some of them make me want to renew my vows or get married again or something just so that I can give them a proper event. That shawly, drapey, cocoon creamy thingy is new though. I think with the proper layering I can make some of these things work this season. . . Just skip the dreary darks all together maybe? Hmmmm.

Most things vintage, cocoon cardigan from AA

Miracles do happen. For REALS.

2011-01-12T15:13:00.000-08:00

My daydream wishes have been answered! I am off on a spontaneous, last minute, 75˚, sunny oasis, Palm Springs getaway! I just wanted to let you know that this is why I am gone. Be back shortly! Zippity-Do-Freaking-Da!!

Beautiful Freaking Ice

2011-01-10T06:00:00.000-08:00

I promised myself that I would ENJOY this winter (for the first time ever) and not complain about the cold. I am not complaining right now. HOWEVER, when I close my eyes and take a deep breath in and find my happy ass place, it is sizzling hot there. . . and there is a hammock and cold beer. . . and I am just wrapped in maybe that sweet Turkish towel I showed you in that last post, my music is playing over the outdoor speakers. I can hear bees and grasshoppers going about their business, smell fresh cut grass. My back yard is like freaking heaven for me. . . in the summer . . . BUT it is amazingly wonderful right now too. Just different. . . . and a bit uncomfortable.

There are supposed to be lessons we should take from winter. Watch the plants and animals draw in and rest, preserve precious resources, cuddle down, nest. I know that I should see the months that I can't go outside as a time to get my house in order (physically and metaphorically), but it can be tedious and annoying when those pesky memories of warmer times try to interrupt my being present in winter. I just want to be able to walk outside without feeling completely violated! That was not a complaint. I LOVE THE COLD WINTER. ITS SO . . . BEAUTIFUL. . . YES. . . BEAUTIFUL. (big fake toothy grin)

ahem. Sorry. I think I have PMS and everyone else has been really nice and careful with me so I have to pick on winter. Its nothing personal winter. We have just been spending a little too much time together and I think we need some time apart. I'll be laying in the window seat imagining I am with another season for a little bit.

Sweater: vintage thrifted
Pants: AE
Shirt: AA
Hat: BR
Shoes: Danskins from way back. They keep me from slipping on the freaking Ice that is all over the freaking place. ahem. The beautiful freaking ice. And I know I don't have it nearly as bad as MANY MANY people. Oh and just in case you were wondering, I ran AGAIN! and longer still! I am trying to add about 5 minutes each day! Its exciting and I never ever thought I would ever say that. And I guess its thanks to winter that I am even doing this since if it was warmer, I sure as shit wouldn't be spending my time running indoors on a treadmill to generate heat and energy. More like laying around being lazy and deliriously happy sipping a cold one and listening to bugs. So, I guess thank you winter. awe shucks.

Totally off subject

2011-01-06T11:57:00.000-08:00

I would really like to have these things.

Sigh.

Anyway,

I went back to the treadmill yesterday.

Success!

Warmed up for five minutes,

picked it up for 5 more,

started jogging at 10 minutes,

felt squeamish at 13,

took deep breaths and refocused,

continued to enjoy the jog till 23 minutes,

wanted to stop but pushed on till 25,

cooled down for 5.

I didn't cry.

I didn't lose my breath.

I felt great after!

It was a good experience.

I am hopeful!

Optimistic!

Will go again today.

Take my breath

2011-01-05T06:00:00.000-08:00

I covered just over 2 miles in 30 minutes on the treadmill Tuesday. And, for anyone wondering, that is a HUGE FREAKING BIG DEAL TO ME. Because, well the last time I covered any miles on the treadmill was like never ago. I did not make a resolution to increase my cardiovascular health, nor did I resolve to work out more or lose weight or anything like that. I resolved to carefully confront my fears. One of my biggest fears is losing control of my breath. This breath thing keeps me from running, biking, climbing mountains, swimming, jumprope, slip and slide, you get it. That is why I LOVE yoga so much! Total control and focus on the breath is a gigantic part of that practice so you can see why I would naturally gravitate to it.

There are only two activities that I allow myself to lose my breath with full abandon : 1. Singing at the top of my lungs while dancing (but I take it song to song, no stamina here really) and 2. er. . . basket weaving. . . if you catch my drift. Both are joyous activities and worth the huff and puff, and in the end I feel great and drink lots of water and carry on. Any time I try the other activities I listed above, I have a panic attack, start crying, feel like I will throw up, shake, and STOP everything. It's silliness. So this all came up this past weekend while I had some fit friends staying with me from LA. They do P90X and invited me to try the Plyometrics CD with them. I was nervous to do it. I honestly wanted to refuse and stomp my feet for them even suggesting it, but, they were my guests and I will try almost everything once. We get started. I am doing fine. In through my nose, out through my mouth. Control. Calm. Form. Steady. Until 20 minutes in and I start to feel it. Tears welling, Chest heaving. I lose my breath. I sit down and watch the last 40 minutes. My guests huff through it. Like Freaking Champs.

I talked to my yoga instructor Tuesday morning about it. I told her I worry that no matter how long I can stay in chair pose, or how many chuturangas I can do, I fear I am cardiovascularly weak. She suggested that I face my fear and work through it. Choose and activity that allows me to completely focus on my breath and if I start to lose it inhale deep and exhale as if I am blowing up a balloon. OK. I made a play list of PERFECT songs, headed to the treadmill . . . i n h a l e . . . and began. Beast Of Burden by the Rolling Stones. It always gets me moving. Things went fine for a while, speed 4 incline 5%, not too crazy, good songs, controlled breath, then about minute 12, I started to feel it. Tears welling. Its okay, breath, breath. I got past it and enjoyed 12 more minutes of actual pleasure. ON THE TREADMILL. By minute 25 I realized I could make it to 2 miles by 30 minutes. I decided I could pick it up a little, speed 4.8, jogging. It was fine! I handled it well! I felt GOOD! By minute 28 I decided to slow down. Went to 3.5 and changed the song to a cool down tune.

Wilco. One from way back. One of the few I really love. Like a freaking volcano, I burst into tears. Hysterical, laughing, have to hold on the to the handles of the treadmill to keep from falling off, blabbering crying. It felt euphoric. No anxiety, no sick feeling, pure freaking bliss! I was hugging myself with one arm hearing the words "I love you!" in my head. It was freaking surreal. Like after some really great "basket weaving" sessions. Just 2 miles in 30 minutes. Thats all it took. I kid you not. I can't wait to do it again tomorrow. Not that I expect the same result, its just, now, I KNOW I can do it. Its a good first step. And I am not so scared.

These pictures were taken just after (well, after a hot shower).
Coat: Kenneth Cole
Leggings, Scarf, Dress: AA
Boots: gift

Cast off

2011-01-04T06:00:00.000-08:00

I have misplaced my sunglasses apparently. Hats work unless you have to look up at the camera, or drive, obviously. Amusingly though, due to the glare, I noticed my "I think you have an interesting secret you want to tell me," look on my face in that last picture. . . As if my tripod is hiding my glasses from me, pissed that I had abandoned it for so long. You have something you want to tell me TRI?

Well I had my first client over the break! I was nervous (and excited and anxious and elated and surprised by how easy it was). She was excited (and ready and cooperative and maybe all sorts of things she didn't tell me about). We sprinted onward and in the end she had a well organized, much less cluttered, but way more functional closet (which was sort of serving as a memory box for clothing that reminded her of certain events from junior high, high school, early dates, and weddings she attended 10 years ago.) In our first hour, we put memories in their place (where they don't take up precious hanger space), and identified redundancies, hidden gems, gaps and priority purchases. Then we hit the thrift shops. In just under 3 hours, we were able to find the perfect dressy cardigan, a few perfect slouchy cardigans, a new (to her) fit of jeans, a pair of boots, a super slimming, heavy weight cashmere camel coat, and a few blouses that would tie it all together. In our final hour we will put it all together in complete, accessorized, layered and seasonal (winter) outfits and photograph each for future reference. It was horrifyingly wonderful!

This cardigan I am wearing was a cast off from my client's pile. I vowed to only buy things she didn't like or did not suit her. I did! And she got some things that look just amazing on her! It was such a great experience that I have decided might do coordinated shopping days on top of styling services. I am thinking 2 scheduled days a month I will map a thrift shop course and invite my clients to come along with me. They can join me for free, like a shopping date where we just do our own things, or for a very small fee, I will shop for them, with them, and give tips and teach them lessons I have learned myself about thrifting so that they can feel more confident hitting the shops alone. I think it will be a great way to meet more clients actually, you know, advertise thrift shop tours and training classes. Not that most veteran shoppers need any help, but there may be quite a few people thinking about second hand right now to save money, who have never tried it before. Hmm, you never know.

Hat, cardigan, boots, crocheted cardigan, top, accessories: thrifted
Pants: AE
Stole: Kisabela

keeping the old

2011-01-03T11:07:00.000-08:00

layers, tweed, menswear

rompers, lace up shoes

pattern mixing

one piece pants suits, scarves

denim jackets, knee socks, batik

harness necklaces, hats

obi belts, bright ethnic prints

textiles, across body jewelry

fascinators, silk button up shirts

military

Bolos (due to Zoë's Bolomania)

high waist shorts, basket weave purses

maxi skirts

fringe, ponchos, western

ladylike dresses, doctor bags

It was pretty crazy clicking "new post" this morning. Its been a long freaking while! I trust that the holidays treated you well. They were our best ever I think. Just wonderful! I don't know if I have ever been so present during the holidays as I was this year. AND I am so excited about 2011! Doesn't it just feel like this will be am amazing year! So much has changed! I am looking forward to each day like anything could happen! It feels different from the past new years bubbles. Do you feel it too?

SO, to kick off the year I did a review of some of my favorite trends of the last year, and while I look forward to some seriously great new trends (that I will likely adapt to my style), these are the ones I think I will hold on to from last year. Maybe reinvented a bit, modified from last year, but still great in my book.

It will be so exciting to see the innovations of this year! I am thinking tone on tone neutrals, loose layers, minimalism, subtle texture, creamy colors! I think attitudes will be much different this year as well. More laid back acceptance, self compassion, chill.

All right! Well, it was nice to be back today! See you soon!

working it out

2010-12-14T20:50:00.000-08:00

I have begun to work through, haphazardly, my comments from the last post and responding to each one of them. I was so (BLLAAAAAAA WHAT IS THE FREAKING WORD??!!!) moved, surprised, Inspired, warmed, melted, jaw gaping open with amazement, thankful, heartbroken, wanting to repair my teleporter so I can zip over to any random corner of the world for tea (or coffee, Amanda) and thinking that perhaps the thing that is keeping my connections, maybe less than what they could be on the internet, is me and my holding on the the "physical experience as the ultimate ideal" a little too hard. I think If I pace myself I can find that electronic connections, while more time and energy intensive, may well be extremely valuable just as they are, not needing the physical ideal to flourish. My heartbreak only comes from a place that demands Ideals, and if I let that go just a little, I may well open my heart to the comfort of a good long spanning email conversation to someone in Paris, or the UK, or Israel, or Canada, or anywhere where YOU are. Again, thank you so much for telling me how you feel. It meant so much to me.

Oh, last little thing! I am working with someone who is helping me shape the business end of my business! She is an amazing woman and when we have the details worked out I will continue to share that process with you! Its so incredibly exciting to see some actual evidence that this thing is coming to fruition! I apologize for my patchy attendance in this space but I do intend on continuing to regularly blog and include outfit photos and for those of you who are wondering, the vintage selling will continue eventually, I am just not sure exactly when and how much of it. I still have three rolling racks stuffed with stuff so its got to get to the shop eventually somehow! Allrighty!! Thanks again!!

We all have a Signature

2010-12-09T19:33:00.000-08:00

I am going to offer my services as a "Signature Stylist" to the women of my local community. I stress the word Signature since I feel what I will be doing is slightly different from traditional stylist services. Why was this realization and sudden decision so important to me? SO HEAD OPENING, SELF REFLECTION driven, CYCLES and AUTHENTICITY obsession motivated, Quit my regular blog schedule and meditate and immerse myself in Yoga till my downward facing dog really DOES feel like a resting posture, and I quit selling vintage and speak in freaking randomness and all that jazz? Ya . . . I know right? It sort of seemed like I was thinking would save the freaking world or something, but no, SIGNATURE STYLIST. And even though this may sound like a very simple or subtle life fork I have chosen, it is actually a really big freaking deal to me. I will tell you why.

I had to identify my discontent with my current situation and understand WHY I was feeling so discontented. THE ANSWER: While I love blogging, the clothes and style and "meeting" people online and talking about bigger issues sometimes and all that the internet allows me, IT DOES NOT give me any face time with these wonderful people I meet. I read comments and visit blogs and feel like all of this is just empty shadows. So difficult it is to make TRUE connections and even when one is established those feel tortured and frustrating for me, and quite simply heart breaking since I feel I can never REALLY know you and you can never REALLY know me unless we are in each other's presence. Through all of my introspectiveness, looking back on my cycles and past endeavors, the things I truly crave and value are face to face relationships. An hour over tea, or talking about a great book together, talking "IRL", a REAL energetic exchange. Working with women in real life is something that I know I want to do. It won't necessarily replace the friendships I have established online, but it will fulfill the need for human contact that I feel is lacking, specifically with women.
I had to identify the source of my self doubt and self sabotaging drives. I have wanted to do something like this for a really long time but somewhere inside I worried that I was not good enough. That I would give up if things got difficult and that my investment into starting a business would be lost. NOT THAT I WOULD FAIL, but that I would just give up and flake when things are going well (as I have so many times before). I was (am) actually afraid to succeed. I do not fret about no one calling me, In fact I have a list of people lined up and waiting for me to go live with it (and that scared (s) the hell out of me). I worry that I will over extend myself, promise more than I can physically deliver. This was (is) a biggie for me, and something I am consciously working on in my daily yoga classes. I didn't (don't) have faith in my physical abilities. Not that I am going to be running marathons with these women and lifting weights in their closets, but I have generally viewed myself as a physically weak person, easily tired and overwhelmed, unable to cope with stress and demands of predetermined obligations. Sounds pretty wimpy and pathetic right? Well it is, and I am not weak and I am not a wimp. I am gaining the confidence and building my strength.
I had to identify my natural gifts and figure out how to best use them to help myself and others. While I may not have as much experience helping others to see their own unique personal style, I know what it feels like to have identified and feel comfortable in my own. My real skill though is in communication. And communicating delicate issues face to face is something I know I can do well. I feel confident that I can ask the right questions leading people to have realizations about themselves, even if it is on a sort of exterior level. I do believe that the path to thinking about what is inside, may start by looking at yourself on the outside in a new way. My experience with blogging has helped me understand many things about our external identity and how it effects our true internal identity. Using this understanding and my other gifts of communication and perhaps some layering tricks, I can make a positive impact on women and maybe even plant the seeds of self acceptance. A persons signature style is not based on fashion rules or trends or anything like that, it is what the person feels most true to self in. What a great way to start accepting that self.
I have had to accept MY SELF. An important lesson and one I am still learning and will continue to learn as I move forward with this.
I have had to understand what I value, how I measure success and what I consider to be failure. Important information when deciding to start a business.

Now, Its not like every person has to do this to start a business. A mean, self sabotaging part of me envisions some meanie out there reading this and thinking "Who the hell does this girl think she is? Why is she making such an enormous big deal out of this? So what! She is going to try to be a stylist. Big freaking whooptie doo. Glad I stayed on for that." And I have no idea if this meanie will really exist but if they do, whatever. I have been consciously trying to ignore that meanie in my head and I will do the same to any real life meanies. This is how I have decided to consciously move forward with this new endeavor and the process I have needed to go through. The next time I blog I will describe the services I will actually provide. I have been refining them over the past two weeks and would love to run them by you (not any potential meanies, but those of you who I really want to have tea and talk with.) Thank you for sticking by me and reading about my thing. The most heartbreaking thing is that I can't just tell you about all of this. You have to read it and my voice and the feeling is all lost.

The lists

2010-12-06T14:02:00.000-08:00

The sun isn't always shining here, but this is the happiest I have ever been with this season. Its amazing really. I was also really excited to listen to Christmas music this year and get my tree out and decorate this weekend. The cool thing is that I got to re read my LISTS. You see, each year from the time I got married, as I cleaned up and put decorations away, I would list 10 things on a sheet of paper to remember for next year. When the next year came and I opened the decoration boxes I would read each list from every year before. Here are a few of my favorite tips of advice from a wiser me:

(Year One) Do not buy a tree from Rite Aid. Our poor tree died after only two weeks. Instead get a tree from the tree farm in Carson by Craft Barn, and maybe wait till the 13th.
(Year Two) Remember that you make your own Christmas Spirit. If you are happy and cheery it will rub off on everyone around you and that is the secret, just be happy.
(Year Three) Christmas will come no matter how prepared you are and everyone will be happy no matter what you get them. Just make sure you have Chocolate Ice cream next year. (A Common theme. I think I say this every year.)
(Year Four) Don't bother trying to shop online unless you know EXACTLY what you want and you get it before Thanksgiving. The internet is too frustrating to window shop in. (This was 2006, so much has changed and THANK YOU INTERNET for ETSY.COM)
(Year Five) Don't let family Dramas get to you. Some one will always be a grinch and just understanding that to begin with will help you cope in the long run.
(Year Six) Evan Always is SUPER thoughtful and really deserves some extra thought as well. Hint: Don't wait till the last Minute!! Plan early for Success.
(Year Six) Only get gifts for people you are ACTUALLY close to this year. LESS = LESS STRESS
(Year Six) Don't get run down. You got sick by trying to do too much and staying up late.
(Year Two) Make as many Gifts as possible. They are much less stressful and liked more than anything I could buy. Plus they are usually somewhat functional and people seem to like that.
(Year Three) Don't be Afraid to ask for help when you need it. I am Pregnant this year and couldn't even clean my own house. Mom cleaned it for me and did a great job, Ginger (mother in law) did some Christmas Shopping for us and Evan wrapped the gifts. All leading the the LEAST stressful Christmas I have ever had. (I had debilitating morning sickness.)

I failed to make the lists for years 7, 8 and 9, for strange reasons, but I am resuming the lists this year. I love looking back and reliving my thoughts from all of the years past, reflections on how things went and what seemed to be important to me. I have a feeling it is going to be the very best Christmas to date!!

Hat: BR

Scarf, cardi, vest, tee, boots: thrifted

Pants: AE

sunny disposition

2010-12-02T08:51:00.000-08:00

This is what it looks like in the morning where I live. The view from the front of my house is one that I rarely show here since the sun sets on those mountains and taking pictures in that direction would put me in silhouette. Right before sunrise, these mountains reflect bright pink in the winter time. Its worth waking up early for. It was also just about 36˚F this morning and the sun felt warm. Nice.

I have some early appointments this morning, but plan to post a bit more here this afternoon. A dear friend of mine called me yesterday and told me he had been reading along on my blog and had been trying to guess what my new focus was for my life. I didn't mean for it to be a guessing game! I'll try to get right to it. . . later.

Coat, shirt, boots: thrifted vintage
Skirt: H&M
Socks: J. Crew
Hat: marshalls or ross or someplace random

getting a little dirty

2010-11-30T16:42:00.000-08:00

I has been gorgeous here. It snowed like crazy last week but its all melted now and has left us with mud. No problem. I can cope with mud. It was pretty exciting taking these pictures today! I felt like I was about to go on a date or something! Its weird. I guess we do sort of get to having these strange relationships with our cameras after a year or so of self portraits. The whole process is pretty interesting to me.

I was going to go on to the next part of my self discovery/ new endeavor / rant of the mind sort of writing, but I have a lot to do this evening. I will say that I am more excited than ever to share it with you! Thank you.

Coat: thrifted vintage
Cardi: that Sac antique faire I always talk about
Scarf, tank: AA
Shorts: cutoff from old AE pants
Tights: I think UO but not sure

Boots: Actually Wanted sent these to me and I was reluctant to keep them for a minute since I was not sure how often I would wear them (I sometimes feel strange wearing "new" things), but since they are synthetic, and comfortable and washable (with a hose, which is apparently needed today) I have found them to be a daily staple in these snowy/muddy days we have been having. They are like rubber boots or something! It's been great to not even worry about my leather lovelies! ALSO, they are called NEVADA boots so how perfect is that. Jeeze Louise right?)

Hat: I got this from Brittany at Finders Keepers!! I Stumbled over there one day and it was just sitting in her shop!! I couldn't even believe it! Anyway, so I bought it and she sent me an email later telling me that she had thought of me when SHE bought that hat at the thrift store!!! Whoa right! Its not like she warned me about it or anything, she just found it and I found it and now I have it and I love it!! Thanks Brittany!!

well and fine

2010-11-29T08:45:00.000-08:00

I have not been taking any photos of myself lately, but I thought I would include this little candid shot my dad took of all of us after our Thanksgiving dinner. My little family had two dinners on Thanksgiving this year and both were delicious. This is just after the second one. It was a good day. I hope you had a nice week last week too.

I plan to resume my outfit photos now that I have gotten a few things out that I needed to say. I really just lounged in my yoga clothes all week last week. Before last week, I thought that if I didn't offer some visual stimulation here, no one would listen to what I had to say. I am happy to report that this is apparently not the case. Thank you so much to those of you who stuck with me over the past week. I needed to learn that lesson to be sure I was posting photos for the right reasons. Coincidentally, outfits and self portraits (in a sense) are a huge part of my new thing I am developing. I am looking forward to getting to business now that I have done some self investigation.

Authenticity

2010-11-27T16:15:00.000-08:00

What is it that you value? There are all types of things we value in this life. Things we are supposed to value, things we feel embarrassed to value but secretly do anyway. There are things we value because our parents valued them, our country values them or our communities value them. How do we discover our true values, the ones we personally hold as having the greatest worth? And how do we know the ones we are so sure we value are not symbolic of something else deeper, that gets to the base level of our core. Good freaking question right. This can be a touchy issue. Values are very personal, especially if you identify a few that go against the normally excepted value system. Why are those there anyway? It is sometimes difficult to think for yourself. Sometimes we think we are thinking for ourselves and don't even realize that we are falling victim to a total misconception of the truth. What is the truth? The truth is our authentic self. It is not observations of the world or the people that move within it. We don't have too look outside ourselves for the truth that is with in us, that is our SELF. Who are you? You will realize the answer by identifying your core values, the things that stir emotion. That resonate and shake you. Are you in touch with your self?

These are all questions I have asked myself, things I have measured inside of my self and answered for the very first time. After I identified my cycles, or my personal story, and both subjectively and objectively observed where I have been and where I am now, I knew the best way I could move forward was by finding my authentic self. I had to ask the hard questions and face the truth of my answers. This process has been the focus of the last week. I immersed myself in yoga, went to acupuncture, read books, sat and thought, slept, talked to 6 people who are wise, listened to them and measured all of my findings against the core of my self. I don't know how to explain this in words, and an attempt will likely muddle it all up with confusion, but I have a strong compass inside of me. It feels truth, authenticity, what is real. I think we all have one and the more we listen to it the stronger its signal. It is easy to muffle its signal, easy to step off course and not realize it until you are way off and feel confused and lost. I wandered off course many times in my life and made a great effort to get back on track, back in my river.

Funny, I always thought of myself as a person in a canoe on a river, flowing with the current. There would occasionally be forks in my river, and I would have to look to my compass to decide which way to go. If I chose the way I was meant to, things would just fall into place, little effort would be required of me. Strange coincidences occurred that were too bizarre to be considered chance. People sometimes canoed beside me for a time, we would learn and nurture each other and then they would go off on their own path. And I knew when I was off course. Figuring out I was off course could be a bit tricky though. Especially when you are not sure of what you value. At one point I needed and thought I valued recognition and validation. I wanted pats on the back, kudos, ego massage, money, to feel like I was indispensable, the only one that could do my job as good as I can, The ONE for the job. It took a lot for me to see that what I was really needing was self acceptance, not the acceptance of others. No matter how good it felt to hear that I was a genius at my job, deep down I felt like a fraud. There was never enough kudos. Nothing could convince me of my worth except for finding my worth inside of myself. Eventually the charms and external validation offered by that river fork felt shallow and empty and I knew I had to get back to my true river. I paddled and worked and humbled myself, admitted, my fault, came to terms with my demons, communicated my fears, and made my way back. Back to my true river. My yoga instructor calls the true river GRACE.

I was patient. I learned to not judge myself since it was a lesson I had to learn. I forgave myself. I was forgiven. I tucked that river fork experience in my pocket and it helped me to see and detect tests that have come before me, temptations that urged me to enjoy those external validation pleasures, urged me off my path. I resist. . . and when I don't I begin to feel empty again, begin to measure myself by others. . . and I abhor that feeling. Abhorrence brings me back. I want to feel GOOD. . . Inside. . . and the things that make me feel really truly good and happy are my core values. The values my compass points to.

Complex Clarity

2010-11-26T11:32:00.000-08:00

{EDIT: Besides all that I say below, I also want to be clear that I don't expect everyone to be in to this. I do not judge you if you are not. In fact I expect to lose a portion of my readership. Fortunately for me, I have lost the fear that is necessary for me to see my worth in someone else's eyes. I do have faith however, that I have reached some of you on a less superficial level and that maybe you will reserve negative judgment based on your previous understanding of me. Hear me out, if you wish. Also, I am not trying to sell you something. I am not asking for anything from you. The only reason I am broadcasting this information is so that I may spawn some seed of awareness and change in fertile soil. If this information rings true for you, Great, if not, oh well. I have no power over you and I don't wish to.}

There are a few things I have to be clear about here. First of all, I assure you I am not on drugs, as many of you may assume (and have mentioned). Pinky swear. I am just speaking from a very primal, yet aware space, and I don't think many people really allow themselves to explore those types of feelings and thoughts in a public forum often. In contrast to what we are used to, the drone of the constraints of society, I may sound . . . a little weird. I am totally Okay with that. Next, many of you said you are going to purchase that book I mentioned. Great, but you must know that the book was merely a catalyst. The cycles I discovered and the epiphany I experienced originated from my realization that I do indeed fall into patterns. YOU ARE ONLY ABLE TO CHANGE WHAT YOU ARE AWARE OF.

Everything I am about to tell you did not come from the book at all, but from a lucid state I entered into last Saturday, that I continue to learn from. Let me begin by showing you my clearer, computerized chart:

As you can see, it is much clearer than the scribble chart from the previous post, still intense looking however. A few of you said that you too have noticed patterns of activity in your lives, clusters of change etc. Well, I mapped not only the clusters of change or milestone moments, but also the duration of my emotional states leading up to these changes and occurring directly after and in between those milestones. This is essentially a map of all the major events and emotional states of my entire life. I only mapped what I can clearly remember. I know that the first 14 years of my life play a important role in my development, but since I cannot accurately define my emotional states, I am leaving those years for examination at a later point in my investigation. For now, I am concentrating on the last 15 years or so.

I have identified four major emotional states that flow together in perfect cycles. You can see that I have organized my chart to reflect my life in two year increments, with a mid line corresponding to my birthday. This shows more accurately the years as I experience them, not the calendar years. To examine the emotional states more clearly, I will refer to the segment of my life between 2003 and 2009 shown in light green in the left side column. To help you understand the frequency and vibration of each emotional state, Imagine a line graph similar to a Richtor scale that has a neutral midline:

→Restlessness / Discontent, purple (begins at neutral and heads unmistakably below the midline till it reaches an unbearable low leading to change, usually quitting an activity)

→ Limbo, green ( a state of flux, moving over and under the mid line in wide arches, optimistic that something new is on the horizon, relived that the source of discontent has been removed, but anxious to discover what is next and uncertain of how long it will take)

→ Excitement / Happiness, orange (well above the midline with rapid peaks and dips and very energetic activity, establishment of something new, accepting the challenge of the new endeavor, mastering new skills, acquiring, new information, a period of rapid growth)

→ Busy / Contentment, red (Rapid movement steadying out to a solid above the midline calm, gaining comfort in the daily routines, feeling fulfilled by the situation, confidence in your abilities, quantitative evidence of success) which inevitably moves nearer to the midline neutral and settles into

→ Restlessness, purple → and onward.

I like to think of the cycles as segments of a multi volume story. As you can see from looking at my chart (the table of contents) I have identified two year cycles (chapters) that repeat within 7 year periods of time (parts). After deeper investigation, I have come to the conclusion that a third cycle exists over 10 year periods (volumes). If the chapters are lessons I must learn, the parts are themes of that time in my life, and the volumes are quests of my life, (are you following?) then much can be learned by reflecting on what is already written. This reflection will help me to write the next chapters, parts and volumes. While I am subject to life's cycles, I am still the author of my story.

In case you are wondering, No, I assure you, I am definitely NOT on drugs. And its about to get weirder / clearer.

beauty in chaos

2010-11-23T12:09:00.000-08:00

This whole process started with a voice in my head, "It is time to get laser hair removal." Now, I know what you MAY be thinking, but seriously stick with me here for a minute. This whole fantasy of being fuzz free was never something I took seriously. Sure I had thought about it for a couple of years but I never looked into it online, never really asked around or got quotes and never thought I would spend that kind of money on something so frivolous (remember, I am a die hard thrifter, I don't pay more for things than I have to, and shaving was never SO terrible) but here I was on Monday November 8th in the middle of listing my vintage on esty, with a strong booming voice in my head "get your hair lasered off." I told my husband, he promptly researched the local clinics that offer it, printed out pages on 7 places, which I called immediately, and the very last one I called sold me to the core. Within one hour of the prompting, I had an apt for the coming Friday and a quote that fit right under my predetermined budget. And now I know why.

When you are in a certain position, and a laser is pointed right at your most, ahem, holy of holies, you had better bet that you and that woman holding the laser are going to be pretty tight pretty fast. She could have been anyone, but she just happened to be L., and she had a special message for me. Being a very receptive person, I listened to her message and followed through with my guts' reaction to do exactly what she said to do. I bought a book. Well, actually my husband bought me the book (he knows me so well and though I don't ask for much, when I do, he knows its for a good reason). It's the one I told you about before, The Renaissance Soul by Margaret Lobenstein. Saturday morning (this past Saturday) I read the introduction, put the book down, and started scribbling like a maniac on a piece of paper. This was the first lightning strike. I knew I had patterns, cycles, wheels of emotion and activity that I moved in over the course very specific time lengths. I had to map them. I had to see the pattern. I could feel it but I needed concrete proof. So I made a chart. I set it up to show the length of my life over the course of the months and years. I charted my life's major milestones. I recalled the periods of time that I inhabited specific overall emotional states. My scribble looked like this when I was done:

I admit it looks like an absolute mess to everyone but me. . . When I looked at this, I was hit by lightening again. I knew that I had to get it in a more presentable state, needed to be able to assign symbols to these milestones, colors to the emotional states, align the grid to be sure I was not pushing the data to reflect my hunch. The clarity of the computerized chart PROVED EVERYTHING. I have very specific cycles. I also just happen to have been alive just long enough to really see the completion of a few major ones, and to recognize the patterns of behavior within each. I could see exactly where I am RIGHT NOW. Exactly why I felt that old familiar tug of restlessness. The feeling that so many times before, transformed into distaste and resentment, building to the final climax where I just QUIT. Quit, without notice, without something else to go to, without ever looking back. I would just dump it all, donate whatever vintage I had left, leave everything and start over fresh with something completely different, as I had too many times before. I felt restlessness creeping in and I knew that everything I had been developing, enjoying, growing, nurturing, and learning from, was in jeopardy. This blog, the RELATIONSHIPS I have established, the outlet it provides me, the validation and comfort of seeing my thoughts archived so neatly, and the income my vintage selling has provided me (though small) has become the passion of my last year and a half. Was I DESTINED to repeat the same pattern all over again??

I have been a retail store manager, a receptionist learning bookkeeping, a assistant to the buyer of a golf boutique, a barista, an art student, the next person in line to run an amazing arts non profit, a yoga and art therapy facilitator to girls with eating disorders, and now a blogger and vintage seller. This list doesn't even include my side hobbies of holistic medicine, blood type and its effect on how we digest food, yoga, philosophy, psychology, thyroid function, eastern religion, western religion, the elements, Fashion and style, watercolor painting, sculpting, sewing, clothing design, furniture design, furniture redesign, collecting, and finding the perfect pair of riding boots. With such varied interests and such random hobbies, where was I headed next, and would it even stick long enough to mean anything? Or was there a way to use the Wisdom I have gained from mapping my cycles to just transform my current situation? I will tell you.

Truth

2010-11-22T12:58:00.000-08:00

I feel like I have been hit by lightning! Not literally, but in the EXCLAMATION POINT!!! I GET IT NOW! SUDDENLY EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE! Sort of lightning bolt sort of strike. It is, to say the least, enlightening. I GET it. I know my Dharma. I understand what I was MADE for. My life's purpose. I thought I knew before, I mean I have always known deep down, but the specificities always mucked things up. I would get too caught up in the HOW and lose track of the WHY. But now I know. This clarity came quite suddenly over a really long period of time. . . 31 years . . . ish. I got little whiffs of it and thought I could almost taste it a couple of times, but I am finally, just now, seeing and understanding the ingredients, and realize that I have them all and can really put these things together and make this thing happen. . . . deep breath in. . . . . . .and out. . . . . . . Its very exciting. . . and absolutely terrifying. Exciting to realize that I am perfect for this thing that I will do, and terrifying that in order to fulfill this, I have to move forward with out fear and self doubt. FEAR and SELF DOUBT. I am not ready to go public with the specifics. The HOW is my new work. I know I can do it though. I thought for a minute that I was not going to include the internet world in all of this. I was going to quit this blog and move forward, but then I realized that anyone who reads this, and anyone who wishes to, can be a part of this. YOU are a part of my Dharma. So is everyone else that I come in to contact with, accidentally or on purpose. What we do and feel effects everything around us. But things are going to be different here. I don't know in what ways exactly, but there has been a marked shift inside of me. You are welcome to stay with me as long as you like, and if you decide to go I have no issues with that. This space is progressing along with me on my journey. There might be pictures some days and some times there won't be. I will only be here if I have something to say or ask or share what I have discovered.

I expect that many of you will have no interest in this voyage. For those of you who do, welcome.

raw candor

2010-11-19T09:09:00.000-08:00

Everyone has their own opinions of magic and astrology and superstition and math and things like this that don't seem to make sense but sometimes your brain tricks you into thinking there is some kernel of truth to them. Well, I personally think that these things are sort of mini philosophy lessons, or mantras, or even just something you look at that asks you to reach inside of yourself to find the truth. One site, that Zoë actually introduced me to, is a very good quality example of what I am talking about. I only check it when I am in the middle of some thinking and would like a fresh perspective. Check this out, my report for this past week:

The nature of the game is changing. Do you know which game I'm referring to? I mean the one that everyone's playing but no one's acknowledging they're playing. The rules of the game had held steady for quite some time, but recently they began to shift. Now even the game's rewards are in the process of metamorphosing. My advice? You don't necessarily need to splash a big dose of raw candor all over the place, but I do recommend that you at least tell yourself the truth about what's going on.

Whoa. Raw Candor! What? I have been so wanting to splash that shit all over the place! Fortunately I read this little tidbit just in time and it made me think twice about the level of candor splashing I actually engage in. . . Because really for what? We are all smart cookies. What I am in the process of doing is identifying the rewards all over again. What do I feel is the greatest part of this huge gigantic game we are all a part of? I think sometimes things I THINK are rewards are only ghosts resembling what I really value. Hmmm.

{EDIT: EM! Just left you a comment where you just commented! Don't know how else to reach you!}

Thrifted stuff except for Scarf from UO and socks from someplace random. Oh wait, and some crazy girl gave me those boots.

transitiony

2010-11-17T06:00:00.000-08:00

Whoa. How did I not know until yesterday that I could make my pictures this big? I don't know. But wow. They are pretty big. Been feeling a little strange and transitiony lately. It must be the season I am sure. I had a huge terrible cooking FAIL last night. I make a huge pot of something each week, and last night was chicken and rice soup, and I was doing the same old thing that I always do, but decided "Oh! we have extra beets!" and this antsy "try something new" attitude made me cut that shit up and put it in the soup. No biggie right? Should be fine. . . well it seemed to taste fine to me but it looked like a pot full of blood and all the veggies turned dark pink and the chicken turned a weird yellow. I admit. It looked strange and only tasted slightly of beets, but you wouldn't think that witnessing the reaction of my family. I felt like the bad guy trying to feed bloody oatmeal to the golden child. My kid wouldn't take one bite, and my husband said that he guesses he can force himself to eat it this week. WELL. . . Ah well.

I am listing all the stuff from the Party Time collection today! Just throwing that out there . . . for whoeva . . .

Dress, jacket, necklace, belt, purse, bracelets, boots: vintage thrifted

Oh and I didn't cut my hair or anything, I just got it toned. My girl had to take out my feathers for a couple weeks till I get my roots done, but I might just get a buttload of them when we put them back in.

shifting interests

2010-11-16T08:47:00.000-08:00

This is for Miss Kimberellie. She asked to see one of the little paintings I had done recently to help her get started again. This was my first real shot in years at anything 2D and I am pretty rusty. I wasn't really planning on posting my new things here, but I thought that if start to get all precious about my new hobby and worried about, whatever, then I will just make a bigger deal out of this than it really is. I also see it this way: If I have shifting interests and I don't include them on this blog, then what is this space really a reflection of?

So my son paints right along side me and I have to be honest, he busts out water color gold every time. The one below was the one he did last night, but he has been pretty prolific in the past week! Yes, your suspicions are true, I believe he is a freaking genius.

Party Time

2010-11-15T13:43:00.000-08:00

I am not really sure where this is coming from, but in my mind, I would wear things from this collection to a Thanksgiving dinner with a jungle theme. Strange? I know. . . and really this theme only works if you pile on these accessories. In any case, I am calling this collection Party Time, since many of us will be attending plenty of parties in the coming months. There may be a Party Time Two following Thanksgiving, just to let you know.

I will begin listing this collection in the shop Wednesday, November 17th from 9:00 am pacific time until I am done. As usual I will tweet all of my listings. Thank you!

I got nothin . . .

2010-11-15T06:00:00.000-08:00

. . . except a super clean house including freshly arranged furniture, a new hobby (and a new painting to show for it), more chapters of my book read, absolutely NO magazines in my house and a resolution to never buy another one, all the ingredients for big pots of chicken and rice soup and yummy chili, new musical interests, a new yoga routine, and a super happy, laid back, well rested and cozy disposition. So in reality, I have lots of really great things, but no pictures to show for it. That's okay. My sun is setting at 4:00 these days, an awkward time to get outfit photos, and it's been overcast and gloomy anyway, so I have just been going about my day and not documenting my outfits. No biggie.

Things I am really interested in right now:

Renaissance Soul by Margaret Lobenstien (and here is a great article about this as well. Oh and here is a quiz you can take to see if you are one of them! I answered YES to every question. . . this could explain a lot.)
Coal Miners Daugter, A Tribute Album to Loretta Lynn (I only heard one track from the album during an interview with Loretta on NPR, "Rated X" redone by the White Stripes, and say what you will about me for being interested, but put simply, I was.)
Laser Hair Removal. I got some hair follicles fried on Fry-day and am feeling pretty optimistic about a weed free existence in some of the darker parts of the jungle. Get your minds out of the gutter!!! I am talking about my arm pits. . . and stuff.
Water Color Painting. Ya, that's what I said. I went out like a maniac and bought about $200 worth of paints and paper and brushes and Miskit and shit and have started painting again. By again, I am referring to the one semester I took at the community college 8 years ago. Before my BA. When making pictures was fun and no one gave me mean critiques and there was no concept behind the work. . . just a pretty picture that felt nice to give your mom since she loved it because you made it. Whateves. It's some fun shit.
Leaving my computer in the office. Not on the kitchen counter where it calls to me, well actually sings to me and seduces me and manipulates me and glues me to it. . . No, now it is tucked away in the newly rearranged office where it is out of sight and out of mind, ready to go when I need it and when I have allowed it some time . . . so I can paint and read and cook and listen to music and make appointments to laser my hair off.

I do have a really wonderful new collection to list and sell!! I think it is the best yet! I will be photographing and prepping it this week. And I'll likely have some photos again soon as well. . .

Skidoodle

2010-11-09T06:00:00.000-08:00

It is very coincidental that both the Coat and the Dress I am wearing here are from Vintage Etsy shops! The coat was something that seriously made my jaw drop and my head shake when I realized it could be mine. I first saw it on Amanda's blog and then skidoodled over to her shop before I even read her post to buy it, palms sweating with anticipation, stomach jumping up and down, heart beating out of my chest (thats how you know its a good one) Just knowing that someone else was throwing it in their cart the same time as me! Phew!! I got it!! And seeing it in my closet has made it so much easier to welcome fall! This dress was from Sally Jane Vintage, and I sort of actually thought her shop was a mythical place where things are not really bought, just vaporized into others' closets before I can even glance at them. I saw this in one of her shop previews and was pretty darn sure it too would be gone, but, ah ha!! It was still there as well! It was my first time buying from her and I'll tell you, It was a little exhilarating buying from someone I think is a little bit too magical to be real. To see that they fit together so well, although contrasting in print slightly, is pretty rewarding!

OH! And I found a really cool link to an article about the whole white, metal, lungs, fall relationship that I talked about regarding acupuncture a few posts ago! Right here. AND!! I have some pretty exciting news!! Teee heeee!!! Check this out and look on pages 10 and 11!!!! I know this post has a million links in it so if you just can't be bothered I understand. . . but I am pretty excited about that last one.

Coat: Off of Broadway Or wait, Amandromeda actually
Dress: Sally Jane Vintage
Boots: vintage Frye thrifted
Necklace, hat, belt: thrifted

cat got your tongue?

2010-11-08T06:00:00.000-08:00

I have obviously taken this opportunity to wear Zoë's shoes again. And seriously, why not? They are fabulous in my opinion. I think that is all I really have to say about this ensemble really. I am actually a little blank in the head at the moment. It happens. Oh well.

I'll be listing the collection in the last post this morning. Just to let any people who are interested know. For anyone else, I hope you have a very lovely Monday!

Shirt, purse, necklace, hat: thrifted vintage
Skirt: H&M
Socks: American Apparel
Shoes: This special lady

Part Two

2010-11-05T14:21:00.000-07:00

Yes, I admit I was bit of a slacker this week, and failed to completely list the whole, ambitiously large, Lady West collection on Monday. There was good reason involved. So now I have integrated the remains with this collection. I am calling it Part Two, since really all these things belonged in the original Lady West collection. I am only one woman however, so the whole collection was broken up into two weeks. Thats fine I think. I also wanted to let you know that I am accepting and negotiating offers on the remaining things in the shop. Convo me in Etsy with your offer. My IDEAL situation would be to have absolutely no inventory in the shop. Sell it all off each week at negotiated prices and keep refilling it with new things all the time. I know it doesn't work that way and maybe my mentality on this is a little skewed or off center, but in my head it makes sense! So let me know if you prefer a lower price point. The dang stuff isn't worth more than someone is willing to pay for it. As much as I hate to admit it!

I'll diligently list these things at SecondSkinStyle on Monday, November 8, a piece at a time starting at 9:00 am pacific time. I will tweet each listing with a short description, size, price and link. Thanks!

white, metal, lungs

2010-11-05T06:00:00.000-07:00

So apparently I am feeling better, and I am telling you, this acupuncture stuff isn't mumbo jumbo. I went on Wednesday morning and, seriously, got better. Interestingly enough, my lady that does this (her name is Maggie) told me some cool stuff about fall. Do what you wish with this information, I just find these things insanely interesting. So, the element for fall is metal, the color is white, the organ is the lungs which is responsible for emotion. Kind of cool right? She says that each season has a color and element and organ that corresponds with it. I am not sure what I plan to do with this information exactly, but I am planning on wearing this white necklace all fall. The pendant is carved from a white stone and wrapped with metal. I got it at the Goodwill right after my appointment . . . along with this jacket and this vintage fur collar. . . ahem.

Jacket, collar, necklace, purse: thrifted vintage
Skirt, tank, socks: AA
Hat, shoes: UO

Gypsies

2010-11-04T06:00:00.000-07:00

Back in spring I really really wanted these Seychelles shoes. I wanted them in RED. At the time, I was imposing some kind of crazy "two pairs of new shoes" a year rule on myself and thought that maybe they were not the most versatile and practical choice, so I procrastinated on buying them until the day came that I realized with every fiber in my bones that these were indeed the shoes I should get and that they were in fact very practical and just the thing my entire wardrobe needed to feel complete (its amazing that shoes could ever feel so important, a first world perception indeed.) Unfortunately by the time I got my crazy bootie to the computer to get them, they had discontinued RED and had released Turquoise instead (they only have gold and black now). I got the turquoise and applied the sour grapes mentality to the red "Oh, they would probably be too bright anyway. Oh, the turquoise goes with more of my stuff anyway. They are gorgeous just the way they are. bla bla bla." (besides, they are just shoes right?)

Then I met Zoë. . . and she had the red. OF COURSE SHE DID. Among other amazing assets. I went on admiring her color of my shoes for months before I found out she was the same shoe size as me. In September, I could not swallow my sour grapes bullshit any longer. I suggested maybe we trade for a month or so. Just, you know, to see how it would feel to try a new color. . . and she said YES. So these are hers!!! On my freaking feet!! I have no idea how long this will last so I may wear the crap out of them (I promise they will not be destroyed when I return them Zoë!) I am really really trying to avoid any cliches right now, about shoes and walking and all that stuff, but seriously, this is pretty awesome.

Dress: Vintage from the Sac Antique Faire (yup, the same one I have been talking about for a month now!!!)
Scarf, belt, necklace: vintage thrifted
Socks: J Crew
Gypsy Seychelles Shoes: Maybe one of the coolest women in the world.
Purse: coincidentally, from maybe one of the coolest woman in the world.

Actually Naked

2010-11-03T06:00:00.001-07:00

Ha ha. . . no I am not really actually naked. In fact these are not even real pictures of me but some cool shots I found when I was lost on the internet last week. There are a few more really cool ones here. I am posting them because I called in sick to work today. A transcript of my conversation with my boss follows:

Me: "Ms. C, Hi, its Christina, cough cough. I feel horrible. I won't be working today. I think I am just going to drink tea and watch Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison over and over, and re-live my high school sick days. Is that okay?"

My boss: "Ya, whatever. I feel sick too. Just make sure you send out all your etsy stuff to people and don't screw it up. Other than that, I don't care what you do today. Maybe, since you are not going to get dressed, post those cool naked photos you found on the internet the other day when you got 'LOST'"

Me: "WHAT!! You don't meant the ones with the thing and that thing that-"

My boss: "NO no no no. Don't be crazy! The arty ones. . . with all the body paint and shit."

Me: "ohhh. Right. Ok those ones. Alrighty! Thanks boss!"

My boss: "Crazy kid."

Ya. I am a real actual dork. I'll be feeling better soon. These pictures are kind of cool though right!

Get em while the gettins good

2010-11-02T12:43:00.000-07:00

Well, Paige is closing her shop. This is understandable, since she is a full time working, single mother super woman anyway, even before you factor in her great blog and killer shop, but it is still sad to say the least. She is blowing out her inventory and going dark on Friday night so I suggest you pop over to get the goods while you still can. She will still be blogging periodically so we won't be losing her completely, but her great finds and supreme eye for vintage goodies will become solely for our viewing enjoyment only after Friday. Good luck Paige.

Fighting the good fight

2010-11-02T06:00:00.000-07:00

I am fighting off a virus. It's sort of strange and ironic since I ALWAYS get sick the first of November and I ALWAYS get sick if I stay out past midnight. . . both things combined, considering last weekend's activities, and I should be sicker than I actually am. . . . but I am fighting it hard this year. I have an acupuncture apt. this Wednesday as well, as insurance, and made a HUGE pot of chicken and rice soup last night to just eat for every meal a until I feel better. The strangest thing is that I LOOK all right. At least in pictures I think I do. In the mirror I think I look like crap! What is that quote from DVF? Something about how she takes pictures to see how she looks because "When you look in a mirror you see how you feel. When you look at a picture, you see how you really look" or something like that. Anyway. . .

I listed the first half of the Lady West collection yesterday and will do the other half this morning in case you didn't see the item you were waiting for yesterday. Cut the listing short since I had a birthday lunch with my oldest friend yesterday and we sat for a few hours catching up. She gave me this scarf for my birthday last month so I wore it for lunch for hers. I think I originally wanted to style it differently but I ran out of creative juice due to my silly virus fight. Oh well! I will be feeling better very soon! Fighting that virus like Rocky. . . when he beat the Russian. Ivan Drago . . . . DRAGO!!!!!

Jeans: AE
Scarf: Coldwater Creek gift from friend
Sweater: vintage from Beacon's Closet

What a weekend

2010-11-01T06:00:00.000-07:00

This was Friday night: Me as a pin-up sheriff, Evan as a BIG gorilla, and me and Borat. No, I don't really know that guy. . . but ya, it was that kind of party.

Below was Saturday night: My Brother the Gangster and me a sort of flapper type cigar girl. I don't really know. . . I just wanted to wear this dress and feather wig. . . and they were passing out fake joints and cigars . . . as part of other costumes.

My friend and hair stylist (feather extension master) Laura and her boyfriend Jason.

It was a very fun weekend. I did not include a whole bunch of photos to protect the identities of some of the people who may not want the randomness of the internet to see how they were dressed for the festivities . . . but there were some pretty good costumes this year. I can't wait to see what everyone else posts!

Listing about half of the items from Lady West today and the other half tomorrow I think, unless I can get it all done today.

Lady West

2010-10-29T10:39:00.000-07:00

I hope you like this collection! It has fewer accessories and shoes in it but I am noticing that the earlier collections were very accessory heavy and light on clothes so I am trying something a bit different this time, experimenting, you know. This feels so lady like and western so I am calling it Lady West. Some serious goodies in this one (in my opinion!) I will be listing this one Monday, November 1st, starting at 9:00 am pacific time. Again, no pre order reserves to keep it fair, but I will tweet each listing as I have been. I am hoping to write my descriptions ahead of time so that the listing Monday will go fairly quickly. For more information about my shop you can click the shop link below the header! Thanks again! (Oh! and thank you for all of your feedback about my new header! I will be keeping it then! So happy you like it too!)