19.2.10

Don't change a thing


As I am sitting in the airport waiting to leave New York, I am drowsily reflecting on my time here.  I am so mixed with emotions (enhanced due to exhaustion).  I miss my son and my house and the air where I live.  We called him everyday, but he has invented his own language while we have been away (he calls it French because, well, since he has seen “The Goonies” so many times that he can act out the scenes, we have started watching it in French, not to try to help him learn French or anything like that, he just thinks its really funny to hear them make funny noises!  It becomes like the greatest comedy in the world for him! He will just sit and laugh out loud for the whole movie!) So we can’t really understand him when we have spoken to him. I do know “I love you” in His French is “Luuuu Leeeeee!” which is actually very sweet really.   My anxiety to get home to him is coupled with my crushing disappointment that my WHOLE WEEK in New York is over.  Just like that.  Today I will go to sleep in my own bed. It will just be a memory.  

We didn’t do all the touristy things I thought we would.  You know really, when it comes down to it, the things I really love about any place are the little moments: sitting in Cafes, or glimpsing the sunlight shining through the buildings, fighting off tears through a standing ovation after a live performance, holding my husband’s hand inside of his warm coat pocket as we walk, that first bite of Quiche, or the last bite of Raspberry tart, smelling fine colognes on stylish people as they brush past you, even the smell of falafel from the street vendor, or learning that a person you have been longing to meet for so long is indeed real and  has the same values, priorities, and sensibilities as me.  Every new experience I had here from meeting Bloggers to riding the Subway felt exactly as it seemed it would.  I assume the top of the Empire State Building, or the Statue of liberty would be no exception.  And in the end, I chose to maximize the smaller moments in favor of rushing to the “so called” bigger ones.  And that is just fine.  It’s those little things that cannot be documented in a film or post card. Those are the things I will miss.  As I finish this in the air, I have to admit that I sobbed.  Right here, on the plane, way over the city.   New York I love you, Please don’t change a thing.

COMMENT OF THE DAY: There were so many really great, very honest and sincere comments on this post.  They all made me feel so connected and comforted.  Thank you so much.

San said...

wow, this post is just amazing. It was like reading the prologue of a really good book.
I know the feelings you describe well. This is how I always felt about Edinburgh. Ah, dammit, just thinking of it brings out the tears. And I'm not a teary person.
Enjoy your weekend with your son and keep those memories tight for moments, in which feel down. These memories will carry you a long way.
Greeting from Leipzig

23 comments:

Trains and Sewing Machines said...

Aw that is so sweet. Sounds like you had an amazing time, I love that your son invented a new language!! What an imagination :)

sandyb said...

Christina,
It's been so wonderful to watch your trip unfold over the last few days. I don't always comment, but I always look forward to reading your thoughts. Even though we've never met (and just started reading one another...) I'm happy for you; glad to see that something you wanted to so badly - to go to NYC - happened because you willed it to. Quite inspirational, really. Your perspective on the whole trip - just enjoying the small moments that make up the bigger memories - is so positive and refreshing. The honesty in your posts, particularly these last two was lovely. Ok, ok, I'm all mush here!


PS, your vintage coat from the other day left me drooling! Vintage rocks my socks.

LarsJohnson said...

i'm so glad you enjoyed your time here. it is indeed a magical place!! and you are so right about the "must-sees". it truly is the little things you experience just walking through the city that make it so unique. there is just so much to take in!!

San said...

wow, this post is just amazing. It was like reading the prologue of a really good book.

I know the feelings you describe well. This is how I always felt about Edinburgh. Ah, dammit, just thinking of it brings out the tears. And I'm not a teary person.

Enjoy your weekend with your son and keep those memories tight for moments, in which feel down. These memories will carry you a long way.

Greeting from Leipzig

The Daily Fashionista said...

It's funny how you described how you felt that it the experience in NY would just be a memory when you arrive home. I felt the exact same way when I entered my home and put down my bags. I'm sure you won't be able to let go of your son though when you get back. He sounds adorable!

Kimberellie said...

You're writing is beautiful. Reading what you have been writing about fashion week was as almost like being there! So thanks, because this is as close as I could get! Happy reunion with your petit prince!

merly k said...

your lucky i havent put on mascara yet or i'd be mad that you made me tear up. it could be the hormones talking (why hello cotton pony) but more likely its how damn sincere and real you are. so happy we got to meet, but so sad it was so brief. i don't doubt that our paths will cross again though. xxxxxo

Chelsea said...

Christina, you would be so suprised to learn how many new yorkers have never visited those 'Bigger places'. Sometimes the little things in life really are the best.

Jocelyne said...

Reading this brought a tear to my eye, right before you said that you started crying. Geez, you are a great writer, I really felt something, like I am truly missing out. I have yet to go to NYC but my boyfriend was there this week as well and got to attend the Proenza shouler show. It was frustrating to know he was there and I was missing out. His sister is good friends with Jack and Lazaro so even though he is not into fashion he got to go. It's sort of bizarre that he got to live out one of my dreams, so easily. It's fun to live vicariously through other bloggers but when it is someone so close to you it's a weird feeling. Anyway I guess your post brought out some emotions in me too, so thanks for stirring me up. It's great to know you enjoyed your time so much.

I also wanted to share a new site I found that is about spiritualism and enlightenment. The guys who runs it is fun, I hope you enjoy!

www.lifestudent.com

EEE said...

What a beautifully written description of all the "little things"! Kudos!

Jessica said...

I really loved reading this. So glad you had such a wonderful time. Your son sounds adorable. Beautiful photo. I hope I get to go to NYC someday!

Check out the giveaway on my blog!

tess said...

that last paragraph is beautiful. I love those moments when you find that hidden cafe with the best cookies ever and if you hadn't decided to stop by for a quick break you wouldn't have experienced the magic. that's why not everything can be planned

Astrid said...

I love how sweet and earnest you are. It's inspiring. That's what I love about traveling.

Ra said...

i enjoy reading this! you are a very talented writer.

thevintagedevil.com said...

Omg you made cry!! i love New York! I was raised there my whole life and now live in south florida and dying to move back to my magical city...You said so perfectly; i love the small things of it..sitting at a coffe shop the smell of the streets, the noises, the different languages simulstainusly being poken on the subway, the street vendors, the loud cars, the food...i mean the air...I love New york and you mention a bunch of little things that make it so magical! I am so glad that you went and experienced it with your husband.

Nice post!!

Clare said...

I'm so glad you had such a beautiful trip. It sounds perfectly lovely.

Beatrice said...

Beautiful homage. Welcome home :)

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Katie, Tinda Keelie said...

Someone asked me the other day "if you could do ANYTHING with your life, what would you do?"

and I said "travel. but not the typical kind of traveling, like theme parks and attractions, just like- sitting in the center of town at a cafe and soaking it all in with the locals"

your post reminded me of that. <3 it.

Brittany said...

You know, you are a really terrific writer. Reading this was really reminiscent of some of my favorite trips I've ever had.. so thank you, for bringing back the memories. So glad you had such a great time!

RETRO REVA said...

As I read this tears welled up in my eyes. You see, for me, style is so much more than a few great outfits or glossy photos. STYLE is what makes us who we are, from the inside to the outside and you have it,baby! Real style! I watched Breakfast at Tiffany's last night, and the photo of you wearing the mask reminded me of it. You are truly one-in-a million. thanks for your inspiration, and for some reason reminding me that MY style is O.K. too! Please don't change a thing ;)

ShoeObsessed said...

As I was reading this all my memories of New York came flooding back. We did do all the touristy things but what I really remember is the electricity I could literally feel in the air, the lights of Times Square and eating cherries while window shopping because I couldn't afford to really shop!

WendyB said...

Sounds like you did it just right.

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